If you have used Twitter for very long, you surely know the type. It is the popular Twitter user like that jerk in high school all the kids wanted to be like but nobody could really say for sure just why. Fortunately for you, I have taken it upon myself to tell you how to become popular on Twitter without actually being useful. This is that secret recipe all the cool and popular people on Twitter did not want you to know about, but I am telling you. Let the death threats begin.

Now Let’s Make You One of the Popular People on Twitter

Follow along, because you don’t want to do this wrong. If you tweet the wrong thing, people will hate you. They will rip you up and make you wish you left your iPhone on the night stand and never downloaded that fancy-schmancy Twitter application. They may even unfollow you, and the “unfollow” on Twitter is worse than a bad fart on an airplane.

If you follow this list without deviation, you are sure to become massively popular. Just remember that if anybody says “I hate you and hope you die a miserable death” or “You deserve a really bad case of herpes” … those people are just jealous because they will probably never be as popular as you. Just as long as they don’t “unfollow” you … that is when you know it has gone beyond jealousy and they may actually hate you.

Here is the secret list. It is not an all-inclusive list, but it will get you started. If you want the whole story, I guess you will just have to buy the book.

I have noticed, and perhaps you have as well, that in order to be one of the “most influential” Twitter users, it requires that you take your days and nights to tweet every last piece of social media “news” that you can get your hopeful little retweeting paws on. It really helps if it is about the latest geeky Twitter application by some big named company promising that it will be their huge social media savior and make them squillions of dollars by knowing this “secret” tidbit of wisdom you have to share with them. Even better … maybe being one [...]

I have been honored to be in the presence of many amazing Twitter users who know how to keep up with the massive data flow. They know how to keep up with advanced Twitter searches so they always know what is happening in the world, or even just in their neighborhood. They know how to create groups that allow them to keep a close watch on everything their friends have to say on Twitter. They even know how to reach out and meet people like them, and to gain introductions to other people they will enjoy knowing. They know the [...]

Twitter Fame can come from tweeting frantically, as if your butt is on fire and Twitter will bring you a bucket of water to put it out. If you have not already learned this tactic, I will explain it. According to many estimates, there is a very small percentage of “power users” who send the majority of all updates on Twitter. How extreme is it? As a Harvard Business study pointed out, 10 percent of Twitter users account for 90 percent of Twitter updates.
Allow me to shock you for a moment with an observation.
Twitter Politics, Pandering, and Popularity
Some of the [...]

Have you ever apologized for something that you have not yet done? That is what I am doing here, but at the same time, Twitter may thank me for it later.
I have tried to make it pretty clear to my readers that I recently wrote a book titled “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends”. The book is now ready for orders, and I do not plan to let anybody forget it.
So why am I apologizing?

I wrote a really useful book to help new and experienced Twitter users alike, so that should be a good thing, right? I guess you could say that [...]