If you have used Twitter for very long, you surely know the type. It is the popular Twitter user like that jerk in high school all the kids wanted to be like but nobody could really say for sure just why. Fortunately for you, I have taken it upon myself to tell you how to become popular on Twitter without actually being useful. This is that secret recipe all the cool and popular people on Twitter did not want you to know about, but I am telling you. Let the death threats begin.

Now Let’s Make You One of the Popular People on Twitter

Follow along, because you don’t want to do this wrong. If you tweet the wrong thing, people will hate you. They will rip you up and make you wish you left your iPhone on the night stand and never downloaded that fancy-schmancy Twitter application. They may even unfollow you, and the “unfollow” on Twitter is worse than a bad fart on an airplane.

If you follow this list without deviation, you are sure to become massively popular. Just remember that if anybody says “I hate you and hope you die a miserable death” or “You deserve a really bad case of herpes” … those people are just jealous because they will probably never be as popular as you. Just as long as they don’t “unfollow” you … that is when you know it has gone beyond jealousy and they may actually hate you.

Here is the secret list. It is not an all-inclusive list, but it will get you started. If you want the whole story, I guess you will just have to buy the book.

I have been honored to be in the presence of many amazing Twitter users who know how to keep up with the massive data flow. They know how to keep up with advanced Twitter searches so they always know what is happening in the world, or even just in their neighborhood. They know how to create groups that allow them to keep a close watch on everything their friends have to say on Twitter. They even know how to reach out and meet people like them, and to gain introductions to other people they will enjoy knowing. They know the [...]

Swine flu proves a perfect case for widespread use of Twitter. Never before has there been a method by which important breaking news can spread with the velocity it is spread on Twitter. When I saw the stories of swine flu in the news, I tweeted about it, just as thousands of others did.
There has been a lot of misinformation on the topic of Swine Flu (H1N1), but the fact that Twitter has provided for such fast spread makes me wonder if Twitter can outspread the flu.
Swine Flu Outbreak on Twitter
Here is a compilation of just a few news stories [...]

This is not a review of Dancing with the Stars, and I have already told Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) that I dance like a goon.
If you are not already familiar with this blog, it may help to know that I wrote an article recently that criticized the highly publicized race between Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) and CNN (@CNNBrk) to reach one million followers on Twitter. I look at this today and realize that nearly anybody could do that if they put the resource into the campaign that each of these giants did. There is even a billboard in my home town of [...]

I want to start by saying that from most I have seen and heard of Oprah (@oprah), she is an absolute doll. I love the heartfelt message that she represents to the world, and I hold her in very high regard. She has clearly surrounded herself with an aura of absolute attraction. I believe that she truly is the beautiful person she presents herself to be.
The Burning Question: Will Oprah Ruin Twitter?
Obviously, Oprah would not, and could not ruin Twitter. However, the power of her influence could have damaging effects on the fledgling community. I recently questioned the responsiveness of [...]

Twitter has become an invaluable tool for bloggers, news agencies, Internet marketers, and friends who want a greater connection with the world. This Twitter study is intended to see just how far Twitter can reach, and to find how useful Twitter can be for spreading a message quickly and broadly. Before you go any further, please Pass The Tweet #PTT now!
Pass The Tweet!
(be sure to enter “#ptt” in your tweet)
The Twitter Study
The intent of this Twitter study is to determine the potential reach of Twitter micro-blogging and to find just how fast a Twitter message known as a “Tweet” can [...]