If you have used Twitter for very long, you surely know the type. It is the popular Twitter user like that jerk in high school all the kids wanted to be like but nobody could really say for sure just why. Fortunately for you, I have taken it upon myself to tell you how to become popular on Twitter without actually being useful. This is that secret recipe all the cool and popular people on Twitter did not want you to know about, but I am telling you. Let the death threats begin.

Now Let’s Make You One of the Popular People on Twitter

Follow along, because you don’t want to do this wrong. If you tweet the wrong thing, people will hate you. They will rip you up and make you wish you left your iPhone on the night stand and never downloaded that fancy-schmancy Twitter application. They may even unfollow you, and the “unfollow” on Twitter is worse than a bad fart on an airplane.

If you follow this list without deviation, you are sure to become massively popular. Just remember that if anybody says “I hate you and hope you die a miserable death” or “You deserve a really bad case of herpes” … those people are just jealous because they will probably never be as popular as you. Just as long as they don’t “unfollow” you … that is when you know it has gone beyond jealousy and they may actually hate you.

Here is the secret list. It is not an all-inclusive list, but it will get you started. If you want the whole story, I guess you will just have to buy the book.

What do you seek from social media? Do you know? Are you wasting time?
In a recent conversation with a friend, I asked him why he spends so many hours per day using Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, and other social networks. I asked him if he had achieved any considerable objectives, and whether they were personal or business objectives.
I was really asking him these things to help him consider his objectives, and to gather his opinions. After all, gaining others’ perspectives is a huge benefit of social media. My friend works for a living and counts on new business to keep a [...]

I said in the title, “Be honest” and I meant it. I conducted a poll a while back that reflected that a huge number of people were using social media for business. This is true! It was funny to also find a huge number of people using social media just for fun and friends. This is true, too! Can they not mix with a reasonable expectation of results for both purposes?
The truly pathetic fact about both of the numbers I received is that many people were lying. The fact is very clear that although many people use social networking “strictly [...]

I have noticed, and perhaps you have as well, that in order to be one of the “most influential” Twitter users, it requires that you take your days and nights to tweet every last piece of social media “news” that you can get your hopeful little retweeting paws on. It really helps if it is about the latest geeky Twitter application by some big named company promising that it will be their huge social media savior and make them squillions of dollars by knowing this “secret” tidbit of wisdom you have to share with them. Even better … maybe being one [...]