If you have used Twitter for very long, you surely know the type. It is the popular Twitter user like that jerk in high school all the kids wanted to be like but nobody could really say for sure just why. Fortunately for you, I have taken it upon myself to tell you how to become popular on Twitter without actually being useful. This is that secret recipe all the cool and popular people on Twitter did not want you to know about, but I am telling you. Let the death threats begin.

Now Let’s Make You One of the Popular People on Twitter

Follow along, because you don’t want to do this wrong. If you tweet the wrong thing, people will hate you. They will rip you up and make you wish you left your iPhone on the night stand and never downloaded that fancy-schmancy Twitter application. They may even unfollow you, and the “unfollow” on Twitter is worse than a bad fart on an airplane.

If you follow this list without deviation, you are sure to become massively popular. Just remember that if anybody says “I hate you and hope you die a miserable death” or “You deserve a really bad case of herpes” … those people are just jealous because they will probably never be as popular as you. Just as long as they don’t “unfollow” you … that is when you know it has gone beyond jealousy and they may actually hate you.

Here is the secret list. It is not an all-inclusive list, but it will get you started. If you want the whole story, I guess you will just have to buy the book.

In great social media fashion, we all use Twitter in our own unique way. Use of Twitter often includes the use of many Twitter-related web applications. This means applications that are Web-based, and that we use to manage functions of our Twitter use. There are many great tools for finding people with common interests, finding people based on geography, scoring users’ perceived usefulness, arranging tweetups, viewing and sending tweets, and more. In many cases, we are blessed by brilliant visionaries who saw a need and got to work to provide a new tool to help us.
Help Create a List of Twitter [...]

I have seen many reports of application usage with Twitter, but since I will be releasing a new book on the topic of Twitter very soon (“Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends“), I am seeking some data of my own. Many reports show massive use of the Twitter Website, with TweetDeck coming in second. I have a suspicion that my figures may vary simply for the fact that many users I tweet with tend to be very active and engaged users of Twitter. So let’s find out. Please take this very simple poll to answer what you use the most [...]