Do you remember who your friends are? If you care about them and respect them, why not consider how they earn a living? Times are hard for a lot of businesses, and it may mean more to them than you think. More than that, you may eventually regret going elsewhere … where they will appreciate you less.

I am reminded of a story of two friends, John and Mike. I introduced them many years ago. John was the number one real estate agent in town, and Mike was seeking to sell his house, and buy another. One day, Mike called John and asked him to evaluate his house for market, and make suggestions for improvements to increase the sale price.

John was glad for the call, and he offered his professional time and efforts to help Mike. A few days passed, and John discovered that Mike had listed the home for sale … but chose a different listing agent. As the top agent in town during a good time in real estate, John certainly did not need the commission, but was disappointed because he had wanted to assist our friend Mike in the sale, and subsequent purchase. Plus, he had been somewhat crudely taken advantage of professionally, by his friend.

Have you ever noticed that there are a lot of people trying hard to have a big social media audience? I’m sure you’ve seen things like television shows promoting their Twitter and Facebook. You’ve probably seen companies running contests and offering free goods if you will just follow them. You’ve undoubtedly seen the links all over the Internet screaming “Follow Me”. On the more absurd side, you’ve likely had complete strangers with nothing in common, and no real interest in you, follow you or send you a friend request, just to add to their perceived worth.

A couple years ago, I described it as the “Twitter Follower Frenzy“, and it still persists.

Seeking an audience is not all bad, but it is one of the more misunderstood components to social media marketing. It has been widely promoted that if you can gather a big audience, it will provide some unrealistic value to your business.

Once the audience is assembled, many people talk about “engagement”, but then don’t even know what that really means. They will say how important it is to “engage” your audience, so a lot of companies take that as just trying to make friends and be chatty with everybody they can.

Friends are fine, but that is not marketing. That is networking, and social networking can do amazing things for your marketing, and building social media equity is important. However, by using tactics without a strategy, social networking alone will lead most companies to huge disappointments.

I think it is safe to say that some people are self-conscious when it comes to social media. After all, as an audience builds, it kind of takes on something not so different from public speaking. Many people are terrified of public speaking, and being on a stage where others can pick apart every nuance.

Scarier yet, social media is kind of like public speaking where everything you say is recorded so people can go back later and catch all of your screwups, point them out to others, and make a mockery of you.

Those public perceptions, especially criticism, can change how you think, how you communicate, and how others will view you. In fact, I believe it can create a profound impact for many people … sometimes good, and sometimes bad.

History provides some excellent lessons. It frequently tells us what works, and what does not work. This goes for aircraft engineering, brain surgery, particle physics, and social media, too!

Don’t tease me for my aging view of this topic, because sometimes an old-timer may just have something useful to offer. I have been sitting here at my computer for many years longer than your average social media expert, guru, maven, evangelist, or whatever the kids are calling them these days.

I watched Yahoo rise straight out of the dirt where we planted our fax machines and ARPANET, and I used it. I used it a lot, and my friends did, too. We told people about it. Yahoo grew, and relationships flourished.

Many people have a very confused view of social media, and I can understand why. If you just look at all the ways social media is used, there should be little wonder how people confuse the issues. Some of the most bewildering concerns I notice surrounding social media are the return on investment (ROI) and the cost of social media marketing.

Millions of the world’s businesses understand by now that an investment in social media is vital to their success. Tragically, many of the same businesses are generally clueless about how and why they spend money with social media, and how to optimize their spending for the best results.

These same confused companies are further complicated by misguided notions that social media is limited to, or primarily intended only for personal socializing. They are the companies who question why a business would use Twitter, because that is where people announce what they had for lunch, LinkedIn is just for job-hunters, and Facebook is where old high school friends swap stories. That is social networking, and networking is important, but it is only one facet of social media. If you confuse this, and think that social networking is the basis for social media marketing, you will waste a huge amount of energy trying to sell to your friends, and others who already know you.