Tag: Twitter follow

Are Twitter Users as Dumb as I Suspect?

Yes, I really do think that many Twitter users are about as intelligent as the rocks that line the bottom of a fish aquarium. Do I think I am better than them? Oh, if I have to go into that, I will just piss you off and show what an arrogant, annoying, and “better-than-you” person I really am. If you really want the truth, I may have to write another book just to explain how much smarter and better I really am. Hmm? I think I will get to work on that one right away, in fact. This is not because it will sell tons of copies, but just so I can get it off my chest and so that I can continue with more self-righteous Twitter use.

WOW! You must think I am biting the hand that feeds me. After all, I wrote a book about Twitter, I have spent a lot of time masterfully deceiving all of those Twitter minions and collecting their precious dollars to further implement my evil plot to take over the world. *Mwah haa haa haa* laughs the evil scientist of social media. “I will exact my revenge upon you and you will now do as I say.” Oh, yes, that is me … the evil social media scientist, plotting my revenge and sucking up your precious nickels-and-dimes-per-book royalties to fund my massive takeover of all things that once existed in your mind. You have no mind now, and your thoughts belong to me.

OK, a little less drama may be in order. Something that I added in that silly little book was “The Antagonist”. What I did not have time to include as I rushed through my semi-masterful plot to take over the planet was that many Twitter users love to argue and mince words to prove that they are right and you are wrong. There you have it … Twitter sucks. Every Twitter user knows it all, and even if they do not, they will bitch and moan to their friends until you give up and let them have their glory.

Am I kidding you? Yes, partially, but not entirely. I encountered a response just moments ago that embodied the minced words and drama of social media. I sent a message with a lot of meaning behind it, and it was met with an unsupported and negative comment from a Twitter user whom I always kind of saw as positive. This time, it was not. I direct messaged him to ask for clarification. I even stated that his message seemed much unlike himself, because I had always considered him a more positive and upbeat person. He asked his users to chastise me because I had replied to him in a direct (private) message asking for clarification. He claimed that he had tried to keep it private but apparently since I made a general statement that I had an antagonist (no names given) that I would like to invite for a live video Webcast, his stupid little boy gloves were off. I wish he had taken me up on that Webcast. The amazing thing was that the only private message I received from him was a single word, and I quote “Yup.” Well now, that was insightful, right?

The dumbness goes on … A few days ago, I held a video Webcast, as I always do on Friday nights, which allowed for others to join in and turn on their Webcam to participate in fun and social discussions.  A woman came in and started extolling her greatness and stated that she had received a million unique visitors to a given tweet. She then overran the whole Webcast with her recommendations of who we should all follow, and blabbed on for a long time about some crap. This was a Webcast that I have hosted for a long time, and I never met this egotistical loudmouth in my life. While this happened, I was receiving private messages asking why I had not cut her video feed off. Yeah, a million unique visitors from one Twitter message … try again! I think I saw that same thing once, but that was after I bumped my head REALLY hard and then I woke up. She was purportedly a friend of a friend, so I tried to avoid confrontation. *Damn dumb Mark.*

Of course, I waved the bullshit flag on her million unique visitors statement, and she back-pedaled to say that a million people could have seen it. Oh yeah, but that was only if they gave a damn about her blah blah blah about yada yada yada. The craziness came in when she started throwing ultimatums to others that if they did not unfollow me that she would block them or whatever such crap. I had a lot of people telling me that it was a huge drama for her, and for her minions. One of them just keeps on begging people to unfollow me for disrespecting her by asking her to leave. It seems funny how his continued defense of her and expected offense to me could get him anywhere he wants to be in life. Note to that dude: “She will still not get naked with you, Chump.”

To all of this, I have to say “Who gives a damn?” I mean, really, if you do not like me, if you think that I am out there to put an endangered spotted owl between a couple pieces of bread for lunch while I make my excursion to go club baby seals and hunt whales while throwing out matches to light forest fires on my way to the “Ruin the World” convention … click your unfollow button and create a better life! You deserve it … really, even if I do not!

To those who seek joy in arguments and take their win from promoting negativity, you really need my latest book! It is titled “Living in the Storm” and it is available for sale TODAY. Get your life straight and stop nagging others for things that really do not matter to your own life. Heck, if you are so desperate for something to do, maybe you should feed your mind instead of only feeding your egotism. Twitter is not your bitching board for showing how screwed up and cynical you are. It has much more positive uses.

One last note for those Twitter knuckleheads: If I am such an awful influence, why do they keep putting stuff like this about me out there on the Internet?

Follow, Unfollow, Re-Follow … What?!

It used to be that the big fad was to go “follow” a bunch of people on Twitter with an expectation that a majority of them will “follow” in return. I watched it and cringed, because I saw that there is a point when it totally comes undone and all of Twitter becomes deaf. It is still a pretty strong fad, but a newer fad is to go and unfollow everybody and start over.

Bulk Unfollow: A New Fad

Let’s face it my friend, you can only follow so many people before it becomes no more than a courtesy to show that you are “following” them, while the truth is that you only see .0001 percent of their messages. I mean, really, how many hundreds of Twitter updates per minute do you think any person can read?

Now a bunch of Twitter users are up-in-arms about this latest trend of people with massive numbers of followers who decided they wanted to hear Twitter again. You know, the way it used to be.

A lot of the people taking this route brought it on themselves by trying to play the game of following massive numbers of people just to be re-followed. Then there are people like me, who just thought it was courteous to re-follow people who followed my Twitter feed, just in case they ever wanted to address me with a direct message (which, by the way, is where 90 percent of my tweets are sent).

The message that I hear over and over regarding people bulk un-following sounds something like this:

“Oh, this stinks … you mean you are going to unfollow me? That would be like taking away a birthday gift. Are you saying that we cannot be friends anymore? Boo hoo, pout, sob, sniff … I am going back to bed and pull the blankets over my head.”

I have not done this, but I can certainly see why some people would. First, let’s get these couple of things clear:

  • A “follow” is not a promise!
  • A “follow” will not make you a better person.
  • If I do not follow you, I can still hear you, and we can still chat.

An Alternative: The “Real” Follow

I use Seesmic Desktop to manage my Twitter, which allows me to put my closest friends into groups so I never miss their tweets. This is the true “follow” that we should all be seeking … somebody who actually pays attention and wants to hear what you have to say. So I guess you would call this the second-layer-follow. Just because Twitter says that I am following you, it does not mean that I see your tweets. In fact, I spend a relatively very small amount of time looking at my main public Twitter stream. I spend a lot more time reading messages that I have filtered out with advanced searches, groups, and @ messages. This way, I have tidy little columns of information that is sorted nicely for my reading pleasure. Are you in one of my advanced searches, friend groups, or sending me an @ message? If so, that is a real follow.

The Truth About “Followers”

The majority of users subscribed to your Twitter feed are not following what you have to say. They are just giving you the nice warm feeling of another “friend”, and extending you the awesome gift of their return-follow. Do not take it to mean that each of those people following you will show up at your next tweetup, or that they would ever even hear about it.

I remember back when it seemed that people would respond and start a conversation with every other “tweet” and you knew they were paying attention. Today, that is rare, and you must actually make an effort to reach others and build your communications. Yes, that means paying attention, which is so hard for most people who sit at a computer all day to “tweet” crap to all of their oh-so-treasured fans.

A lot of people have clearly noticed and agreed with what I said in a recent article titled “Did Twitter Go Deaf With Broadcast Static?” If you have not read it, I would recommend it. Another related article is “Twitter Follower Frenzy“.

If you like these articles and find them useful, you will really like my new book “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends“.