Who Googles Your Name? Here’s Why You Should Care

What Does Google Say About You?
What Does Google Say?

Maybe the rebel in you says “Who cares what Google has on me?” Maybe you really don’t care, but if that’s the case, let us consider reasons why you really should care. Maybe you just gave up trying to have a “clean” representation on Google. Too many people view it as a futile effort and throw in the towel, give up, and just live with it.

It may shock you how many websites collect information about you, and what they are presenting to anybody looking. What Google is telling people about you matters more than ever before. Just one ugly social media rant on a bad day – or worse, one politically incorrect slip on your part may cost you, big. Add in some faulty information or somebody with the same or similar name, and it can be a big problem – but avoidable.

It recently struck me, as I decided to re-publish this old blog after taking it down five years ago. I want my own words to be there when they Google Mark Murnahan.

Your name is your personal brand, and it deserves to be defended. Let’s consider why your public reputation matters.

What if They Google You? Imagine for a Moment

Even if you don’t care, somebody probably does care what the Internet says about you. It isn’t just about looking good among friends. It can cost you a future job – or even a current job. It could keep you (or your kid) from getting that college acceptance letter (true story). It could mean you don’t get a second date. It could even hurt somebody near you. As a father, you can bet I’m Googling the kids that my kids hang out with, along with their parents.

The reasons to be aware and manage what’s out there are numerous. An estimated seventy-five percent of companies will Google your name to make hiring decisions. I suspect that’s a low estimate. What if you are not looking for a job? Maybe the threat doesn’t feel as grave, but bosses eventually retire, quit, or move on. What if the new boss wants to know you a little better?
What will they find?

What about a date? It may seem all magical at first, but when they stop responding to your messages, it may be time to see what they found online, and freshen it up a bit.

There are many reasons to consider what’s out there in the wild, with your name on it. Information doesn’t even have to be true to cause damage. It’s really worth the minutes it takes to find out, and begin to address it.

Being proactive and building positive information in search results is the best answer. That makes it much harder for the ugly stuff to build up later. If it’s already a bit messy, it is time to give Google something positive to show people.

I want to share a tool I found useful, and unlike others I have seen. Note that this is unsolicited. I am not paid to write this. If I seem excited about it, that’s because I found it to be a very useful and informative site. I am highly impressed.

It’s Time to BrandYourself!

BrandYourself offers a free tool to help you discover things that may be holding you back or harming your good name, online. It will find things you may not realize are out there in the wild, including a thorough look at search and social media sites. The results may surprise you.

A free BrandYourself profile will give you another page that will climb the search rankings and help knock down another of the things you don’t want in the top listings. It will also help the good information that you list on your profile, such as your LinkedIn, Twitter, your blog, or other pages, to rank better and hold their position. This makes it a great tool, both proactively and reactively, to improve your online reputation.

The tools of BrandYourself are robust, well-researched, and include useful tips to help you do it yourself. You can also set up notifications to keep an eye on your progress. They have service upgrades available, and even a Concierge Service in case you need their professional help.

Rather than explain it all to you, here’s their “Shark Tank” pitch from 2015. Notice that they turned down millions of dollars from the Sharks, but went on to do far better elsewhere. Since that time, they have grown the tools on an impressive scale. The social media tools are very robust, and the search value is excellent.

Here is an example of a BrandYourself profile: Mark Murnahan

Job Recruiting and Social Media: Is Social Recruiting Really as Advertised?

How Do Recruiters View Social Media?
How Do Recruiters View Social Media?


Social media should be an invaluable asset to a job seeker. At least that is the case if what we read is true. There are many stories of people landing a dream job with little more than a tweet on Twitter. Others will say it was their really great connections on LinkedIn, or friends who helped them spread their word on Facebook.

We’ve all surely heard that recruiters rely heavily on the use of social media for filling positions. It’s why we take down all of the party pics on Facebook, and stop beating our chest about politics or religion on Twitter. Those recruiters are watching. Right?

According to some people, recruiters and hiring managers are filling their quotas with the use of what they call “social recruiting”, but is it actually the way they’re telling it? Is social recruiting really the way jobs are being filled? I know what they’re saying, but I see something very different in what they’re actually doing.

As I see it, there are three very useful functions of social media for recruiters, as it applies to job candidates. I question how recruiters view each of these, and I have tried to identify which functions are considered important to them – if any. If you are a recruiter, please share your insight with other readers. In my estimation, the best social media assets for recruiters are as follows:

  • Networking/discovery of candidates
  • Candidate research
  • Communications with candidates

Many people will claim that social media is highly important to recruiters, but I think we should test this theory in the real world. Actually, I already have done a bit of testing, and I have some good reasons to question the importance they place on each of these three facets I’ve listed. I will share what I have found.

First, for job seekers, I want to point out that the “old fashioned” job seeking methods are still very important. I will explain this by sharing my experience, and I really believe it should not go overlooked.

“Old Fashioned” Job Hunting is Still Important!

My search started out really exciting, but a little bit “old fashioned”. Even as a person who has written more than a million words about social media, including a book, my first efforts were the old fashioned way, combined with the use of social media.

It was a calculated effort. I carefully considered companies where I would love to work, and I did my research on them. I connected with employees, asked questions, learned about the company culture, and developed a good picture of the company and their needs.

I defined their expectations, and I formulated my approach. I wrote out a brilliant résumé and some amazing cover letters. I built my case by explaining all the great reasons I would be an asset, and also how much I would enjoy being a part of their organizations.

I sent my letters to the people in charge at the companies I had so greatly admired. I even sent them by FedEx to be sure the right people received them. That should work, right? It should at least help.

Recruiters and Social Media Candidate Research

Where I imagined the social media would be most important to these chosen companies was in the area of candidate research. If the human resources department and hiring managers were going to use social media as a hiring tool, they would find out a lot of great things about me.

In fact, if they gave social media much weight at all, I would surely stand out. My reputation is squeaky clean, people say nice things about me, and I’m even pretty popular by most standards. I have a ginormous blog readership (and no, I’m not calling you “husky”). Google search results for my name paint a picture of a successful executive – and not an ax murderer. I have over 25,000 followers on Twitter, a solid Klout score, and I look good by all of those other superficial measures that some people think matter. To top it off, about the most incriminating photo of me on Facebook is when I was caught wrapped in a pastel blanket and napping on the sofa snuggled up beside one of my children.

Incriminating Image of Murnahan on Facebook - Yes, He Sleeps!
Incriminating Image of Murnahan on Facebook - Yes, He Sleeps!

If social media was actually a significant factor to these recruiters, I should be a shoe-in.

Oh, but it is not so simple. I followed up on my efforts with telephone calls and letters. I refrained from belching, cursing, or any of the other big deal breakers. I subsequently discovered there are many reasons for not landing a particular job – or even getting an interview. There is a lot of competition.

Timing is also very important in a job hunt. Many companies will advertise that they are hiring for a given position, but that is often long before the position is actually to be filled. Some of them have already made their choice for a candidate and plan to hire from within, but they still go through the motions of seeing what else is out there. The list of challenges can get long.

There must be a good way to reach those recruiters at the right company and at the right time … right? After all, what about those amazing stories you hear about people getting jobs by way of social media?

I will share some example communications with recruiters by way of social media. This covers the rest of those three areas where I believe social media can be most valuable to recruiters – Networking/discovery of candidates, and communications with candidates.

Recruiters and Social Media Candidate Networking, Discovery, and Communications

I’ll offer just a couple of many examples I have seen. I intend for this to be constructive for the human resources/recruiting industry, and job seekers alike. I have heard things very similar to these examples from peers, and witnessed many other instances while watching companies closely. These are just two recent observations from my own personal search for the right company. I have every reason to believe that these are not just isolated incidents.

Please Note I do not wish to bash any particular company, so I’ve blurred their identities. I am only sharing observations and trying to open discussions as a person who has been deeply involved in social media since long before we even called it social media, and very successful in business – online and offline. I invite you to share your perspective and discount what I have to say here. I am still ready to listen and to learn.

I will begin with an instance of a thriving company that approached me on Twitter. I want to note that they approached me publicly, and based on my research, nobody else before or since. Here is what they had to say:

Are You Interested, Murnahan?
Are You Interested, Murnahan?

It seems they may have been interested, so I responded on Twitter within minutes and followed up with my resume and cover letter the next morning – March 7th. I never heard anything back from them by way of Twitter or email, so I followed up by email and Twitter on March 16th – ten days after their initial communication. I still never heard anything – but is this an isolated incident? Absolutely not!

Here is another instance where I have made significant efforts at communication with a company that is in the business of recruiting. They are seeking a VP of Marketing for their own company, and I have applied. I reached out by email, LinkedIn, Twitter, and comments on their blog. I have followed up very thoughtfully, and given them reasons to recall my name. I am not offended in the least if they are not interested, but I have done my part to show my qualifications, and given good reasons and opportunities to communicate.

Beep beep! Here comes a convoy of irony for you.

In a recent article on their blog, they suggested ways for people to use social media in their career search. There is about three truckloads of irony in that blog. Their company has a relatively anti-social social media presence, and frequently fails to respond to their audience at all – I’ve been watching. In fact in that very blog article, they were the only user to tweet it in the first day it was published, and I was one of only two people to comment on it.

My comment has still never received a response, and if you only have two comments on a blog, responding to them is Social Media 101 – the most basic. The writer has accepted my connection request on LinkedIn, but she stopped short of actually responding to my friendly email greeting – so she is just another blank space … a name and a picture. When I went to the writer’s Google+ profile, there was nothing to see, because she had not shared a single item publicly – only to her own Google+ “circles” and “extended circles”. She had not even made the articles she had written on the company blog visible to the public. To me, this seems to indicate a need for some training.

Look, I don’t expect anybody to hang on every word I say, but I believe that if I shared all of my communication attempts with this company, you may think they are nuts to not follow up with me. It would seem they should at least to keep me impressed with their company, because who knows – I may know a person or two. I’m trying my best to be unbiased, and I can legitimately say that this company is missing the big picture.

Incidentally, I was fortunate to have a few words on Twitter with the CEO / hiring manager for that VP position. I would describe this individual as a “Grand Poobah” of the recruiting industry, but yet, I would not call this person, or the company, an earnest user of social media. Here’s how it went:

Communications With a Grand-Poobah of Recruiters
Communications With a Grand-Poobah of Recruiters

I followed up on this short communication with email on the following Monday. Then, after a ten day pause of complete silence from the Grand Poobah – and I mean the Poobah has not even sent a single tweet to anybody (publicly at least), I decided to check for a pulse and I sent this message on Twitter, and also another follow up email.

Are You Still There, Grand Poobah?
Are You Still There, Grand Poobah?

I Respect Recruiters

I respect recruiters – I really do, because I know it is a tough job to find the right people. I have been a CEO, so I know the challenges well. At the same time, I have my doubts about the weight recruiters place on the use of social media, and whether it is really as important as many people will say.

I recently read a study that claims recruiters only spend an average of six seconds per résumé as they scan through squillions of them. Unemployment is high, so there are a lot of people applying. It makes me wonder if recruiters ever really feel a need to look very carefully to fill a position. It also makes me wonder if they even have enough time to make a good assessment of an applicant’s qualifications – or disqualifications – based on social media.

That knocks a pretty big hole in the list of three things I estimated to be the most important uses of social media for recruiters.

With these examples in mind, and my assurance that I have a big stockpile of further examples, I want you to be the judge. If you are a recruiter, I want to hear your take on this. If you are a job seeker, I want to hear from you, too. Please add your comments and pass this along so others can share their insights.

Job seekers: Please feel free to give yourself a plug, and include a link to your résumé.

As a final note, I’m still looking, and I will relocate to anywhere in the USA for the right company. If you’re looking for me, too, please take a moment to get to know more about me and review my résumé.

Correlative Affects of Branding and 100 Pounds of Free Bacon

I Have 100 Pounds Waiting for You!
I Have 100 Pounds Waiting for You!


What will it take to make your brand more durable? It is an important question for any business, and it’s worth some careful consideration.

Branding can be described as the “feel” that develops around a company or a person. Once a brand is forged in a person’s mind, it can be a time-consuming challenge to change that feel. Just consider the correlative affects of branding to understand why it is important to get it right.

Pick a brand – any brand – and consider what it brings to mind. For me, if you mention K-Mart, I think of grade school in the 1970’s when saying “Your mom buys your clothes at K-Mart” was an insult of the highest degree. That was memorable for me.

If you mention Applebee’s restaurant, I get a knot in my stomach, along with an ugly flashback of the last time I ate at Applebee’s. On the other hand, if you mention McDonald’s, I may nod my head and think to myself “yeah, I really do deserve a break today.”

You can apply the same principle to many of the people you know. During your use of social media, you have probably developed a view of certain people. As an example, there’s probably a lady who loves her cats – a lot, and maybe a guy that brings to mind the smell of dirty socks. In my case, there is a sizable crowd of people who post funny bacon-related content on my personal Facebook profile. If they think of me when they see bacon, I’m calling that a huge win! Go ahead, show me your bacon.

The “feel” you get about a brand can often extend far beyond the basic facts you know about the person or company. The stronger the brand message becomes, the more it creates a subconscious overall picture in your mind. You’ve surely experienced this, right?

Strategic Pause:

Before we get too far, I just want to point out that I’m actually going to offer you 100 pounds of free bacon, and a new freezer to keep it in – just to help me find the job of my dreams. Now back to the point of the article. Ahh yes, we were addressing branding. 🙂

Preemptive Branding and Brand Defense

A brand will not always have a positive correlation affect on us. Creating a strong positive brand message early, and consistently working to build upon it can help minimize a need for defense. It can also minimize long term damage. Make no mistake – every brand is subject to damage.

Strong brands can overcome adversity. For example, when you think of Ford Motor Company, you probably don’t think of their disaster with the Ford Pinto that was known for blowing up if it was hit in the rear.

Additionally, you probably don’t give a lot of thought to cyanide when you take a Tylenol – but that was a different matter in 1982.

Time and continued brand-building has healed those brands. Their previously favorable brand-status was a huge asset to pull them through.

Of course, many companies don’t have time on their side. This is especially true of smaller or newer brands. NetFlix may or may not have enough time to recover from the huge 2011 media blows to their brand. Their stock dropped to less than half its previous value. It happened quickly and with a lot of attention. They have recently reported big gains, but you can bet those gains would come a lot slower if they didn’t already have a positive and widely recognized brand.

Brands Evolve, But Should Never Be Left to Luck

Many companies are apprehensive about carving their brand in stone. The stronger you build your brand, the slower it will change – for better or worse. This makes it important to get it right, but what should be even scarier than getting it wrong is to leave it up to the luck of the marketplace. Even if you only get it 90 percent right, it is better than neglecting it.

The wrong brand message can be polarizing. The good news is that the right brand message can be polarizing, too. Just look at Facebook, Google, and Microsoft for examples of companies unafraid to polarize their audience.

I often harp on this fact, and I’ll say it again: “Everybody” is not your target market! If your marketing is focused properly, you must be willing to exclude some people. It doesn’t mean you should insult them, but you also don’t want to waste your resources trying to reach them.

Branding Identifies You, And That’s Okay!

We don’t all think alike, and we don’t all respond to the same things. In my brand instance, I’ve stated that my job is to help brands become more exciting … somewhere along the lines of sex, bacon, and fast cars. Thus, my personal brand is often identified with bacon, sex, and race cars. That works for me, and my audience can appreciate these things.

Note: A brand does not have to be outrageous to be memorable and effective. It is just fine if you want to remember me as a darn nice guy who loves his family and really wants to help you.

Sex, bacon, and fast cars may not work for you, but you have your own brand to work with. Your brand grows all around you, even when you’re not looking. It is best to have a good understanding of that brand picture you’re building – and embrace it. You should never be too passive about your brand, or it will tend to fade and lose value – and suffer the wrath of the market.

This may give you a nauseous feeling as you hear the sound of the whole world as you know it collapsing around you, but I’ve got to share a bit of truth. There is almost certainly a person sitting at their computer right this moment who does not like bacon, nor sex, nor fast cars. In fact, those bits of my brand message may completely turn them away. Some people will be less than enamored by your brand, too. But that’s OK!

On the other hand, if you just threw something heavy across the room and screamed about how crazy this ball of rock and water called Earth has become, you’re my kind of person – passionate, wise, and perhaps a just bit nuts. Bacon, sex, and fast cars are staples. Some things are just better than others, and we realize that fact.

Some people are better, too! That whole notion of people all being equal sounds fantastic in theory. Sure, I guess you can say that we’re all equal in some ways, but some will just never be a good singer. I’ll demonstrate if I really must, but you’ll want to turn down your speakers. Better yet, you may want to unplug them. I’m really terrible at singing, but like anything else, mastering a talent takes practice.

Some people will be great at making a brand stand out against the backdrop of a squillion others. That’s my gig. It’s what I studied while the rest of the world was apparently taking vocal lessons to embarrass me. Now, the next time you’re thinking about bacon, race cars, or sex, I want you to remember what I said about branding. Practice can help a lot. Embrace your brand – and practice it!

Oh heck, I just hijacked your favorite food, your transportation, and your sex life. You can hate me later, but at least you’ll have a leg up on the competition!

100 Pounds of Free Bacon!

Just to be sure we’re clear on this, I want to offer you 100 pounds of free bacon!

I’m currently in the hunt for a new job. I’m seeking a company that wants a stronger brand, and a better marketing return on investment. They can’t have my brand, but I will work hard to understand and create their best brand message.

If you introduce me to that company, I will reward you with 100 pounds of free bacon. In fact, I’ll even buy you a new freezer to keep it in. That way, every time you enjoy that amazing bacon smell filling your kitchen, you can think of me.

How’s that for a way to build a brand picture? I’m happy with it!

Now let’s get you some free bacon. Here are links to my résumé and a little more about me. Use them wisely, my bacon-loving friend.

More Thoughts on Branding:

Marketing Communication That Makes Grandma Want to Slap You

Watch Your Language Around Grandma
Watch Your Language Around Grandma


My grandmother is intelligent. She can grasp a complex concept if you communicate it nicely. If you insult her intelligence, she may turn into a vicious ninja.

My grandmother will turn 95 years old in a few weeks. In honor of my dear Grandma and other real-world people like her, I’m here to deliver a valuable reminder about effective marketing communications.

Let’s consider Grandma for a moment, and imagine how she communicates. She talks like a real person. She thinks and communicates in logical phrases. Grandma uses plain and simple language to make herself clear to others. Most people are a lot like Grandma in this respect. Most of them will also find themselves indifferent and even insulted if you try to talk over their heads.

I want to give you some yummy food for thought. That’s because “yummy food for thought” is more appetizing than “palatable incentive for continued exercitation of intellect”. Got it? Great … let’s dine!

What really got me thinking about this is my long and tedious research in the hunt for my next employer. It seems popular for companies to drone on with wordy hyperbole in their job descriptions. I suppose many people do that in their résumé, too. It is just one of those awkward formalities that has not adapted to the modern world quite yet.

Wordiness is like a dance to see who can sound smarter. Just read an average job description to understand why unemployment is so high. According to most job descriptions I’ve seen, it seems that companies can barely write a paragraph without floating in an extra 30 words of fluff to throw people off the real meaning. Here is an actual example of a job posting bullet point that I just found without looking very hard.

Organization and Efficiency – must have natural and impeccable organizational skills as well as the ability to multitask at a highly efficient level. Has proven experience working in a fast paced environment where quick and rational thinking was a daily requirement. Is nimble by nature and has proven experience systematically organizing their work and managing their time to maximize efficiency.

It seems that all they said was “We want an organized person who can keep up with a lot of things at once. They need to think fast, work fast, and prove a history of it.” Does it actually say anything more than that? If so, please explain it to me. They said it in 62 words and 399 characters, but my “less intelligent” version trimmed it down to 29 words and 136 characters.

Are you ready for the irony? This particular job listing is for a Marketing Director at a marketing company. This kind of language reminds me how often I see similar diarrhea-like communication in marketing.

Stop Abusing Grandmas!

Grandma and all those many people like her do not like it when you try to baffle them with frivolous words and phrases to try and seem smarter. If you want Grandma to like you, it is better to make her feel smart because she clearly understands and can relate to your ideas.

If you cannot make it easy and comfortable, Grandma is not going to become your biggest fan and brand advocate. It is also very unlikely that she is going to speak up and let you know what you’re doing wrong. After all, you have already done your best to show that you know it all.

I think the reason bad marketing communication makes grandma want to turn ninja is that while you may sincerely believe you are “proficiently communicating in a manner that is consistent with sound business practices and expected protocols”, you are actually talking down to her. If you keep it up, you will grate on her last nerve and the outcome is bleak.

Don't Speak to Grandma Like That!
Don't Speak to Grandma Like That!

Bridle Your Verbose Hyperbole and Expedite Your Simplicity

Let me give it to you straight. If you are “excessively verbose and embellish your communications with gratuitous hyperbole”, you will ignore and alienate the majority of any market.

It is even true in the most intelligent circles that if you make it easier to read, more people will pay attention. If you communicate with people as if they are idiots and you are a brilliant word magician, you can save your breath. It often creates quite the opposite outcome and shows that you’re not smart enough to put things into terms people care about or respond to.

If you want to show off your intellect, try taking your complex concept and making it easy for people to understand. That is a much better measure to show off how smart you are.

People want to communicate with people, and not Scrabble robots. If you want to reach grandma or those many others who live in the “real world”, you will do best to use real world language that is comfortable for them.

The Solution: Make it Readable to 8th Graders

The best advice I can offer about marketing communications is to make it easy. I understand the temptation to use big words or complex phrases to make a point. Maybe you even talk like that when you are having beers with your buddies – but I doubt it. Let me make another example. I’ll let you tell me which one you think is better.

A.) What I wish to express is that when you use big words and complex phrases, you not only alienate people, but also stand to lose their attention.

B.) If you make it harder to read, you’ll lose people.

You can criticize me for my lengthy writing. I’m guilty of this “crime against Grandma” at times. There is a time and a place for it, though. Knowing when and where to use your wordiness is worth consideration.

If you are not already familiar, I encourage you to take a close look at popular readability formulas such as The Flesch formulas, Fry Readability Graph, or The Dale–Chall formula. It should not be shocking to find that they were each designed to be very easy to read and understand.

I’m back to my job search now. I’m hopeful there’s somebody out there who wants a real-world marketing executive that grandmas everywhere will understand – and love.

Pssst! Here are links to my résumé and a little more about me.

Related Rants:

Photo Credits:
Ninja by Jeyhun Pashayev via Flickr
Visiting Portage by Jeremy Bronson via Flickr

7 Things I Love About My Next Marketing Job

I (Will) Love My New Marketing Job!
I (Will) Love My New Marketing Job!

I consider myself lucky to be looking for a new job in marketing. That may sound completely insane to millions of people looking for work these days, but I’m inspired by it. I’ll tell you why.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I’m not good at everything, and I don’t want to be. I am good at marketing, and that’s where I want to focus. It is best to have focus in any career, and perhaps this will get you thinking about a closer focus on your best assets and interests, too.

I’ve been the CEO of companies for a very long time. It is not because I am good at everything to do with a business. It is because I did an exceptional job of marketing communications – enough to build a successful corporation.

Some people have questioned why I would ever want to make a career change, but I have some excellent reasons. Being at the top of a corporation has its perks, but when it comes time for the tough decisions, they often land on the CEO’s desk. For example, in 2009, when suppliers began to falter and it was time to decide whether to pump my own money back into the company to preserve many people’s jobs a little longer, I did it. I made the decisions that a “better” CEO would never have done … and it cost me millions. I don’t want those decisions, because they hurt me, and they don’t focus on my best assets.

I guess I could call this writing my occupational therapy. It’s helping me to further define where I’ve been, and where I’m going. It’s forcing some of those tough questions that I never really put my finger on before. I believe it will even help me with better direction when I go to interview those lucky folks who seek to hire me. If I do this right, it may get you thinking about what you love about your work, and what you would rather leave behind.

Here is my list of seven things I love about my next job in marketing. I will begin with the three things I will be the most joyful to dismiss from my current role in marketing. This is not intended to be negative about my current work, but rather a forward look at what I will love about my next job role. It adds emphasis to why I made the decision to seek a new career adventure.

Love Comes in Many Forms
Love Comes in Many Forms

Number One Love About My Next Marketing Job: No More Apathetic Clients

As I make my move away from providing marketing services as a consultant, leaving apathetic clients in the past is my biggest relief. I will never – and I mean never – subject myself to explaining the benefits of marketing to another person who is any of the following:

  • indifferent about their business objectives, or refuses to define their business objectives.
  • too paralyzed by fear to make good business decisions.
  • convinced that marketing is an expense rather than an investment.
  • a big talker who is actually flat broke and trying to impress or mislead me. Only real data is allowed here.
  • wasting my time. I am entirely done with that. My time is worth a lot of money, but its value is greatly diminished when I waste it with people just because I’m nicer and more considerate than they are.

Number Two Love About My Next Marketing Job: Ignorant Clients Be Gone!

I think I may whistle and skip my way into the office an hour early every day for this one.

I will never be asked to speak to somebody who has not already been vetted and prepared for the valuable information I will share with them. I will never have to entertain the bottom of the barrel. That’s because my new employer will realize I’m far more valuable to the company when I’m not trying to slit my wrists with paper cuts from the 45 page proposal that I spent three weeks researching, or thrusting forks into my eyeballs when I look across the table at the zombies who just didn’t get it.

If dealing with apathetic clients is like setting me on fire, then ignorance is like throwing tequila at my flaming corpse and calling it a party.

I have often said that when it comes to marketing, there are no innocent victims … just ignorant ones. Nearly anything a person could ever hope to know about our world is on the Internet. Yet, I find that many people will still try to hide behind their ignorance as a shelter. Who are they fooling, anyway?

What’s worse is that in order to be ignorant in this great era of information, a person has to be apathetic, too. If they actually care to know enough to save their own skin, they can pick up a mouse and know it in an instant. The trouble here is that so many want-to-be clients don’t comprehend the value in paying somebody who knows the right questions to ask … so they hide under their ignorance blanket.

Here are some of my most polite answers for those ignorant people:

  • No! You cannot increase your return on investment without an investment. Please slap yourself for me.
  • No! It is not a good idea to spend more on telephone book advertising than on the Internet.
  • No! You should not use a personal Facebook profile for your business. It is foolish and will eventually get your account deleted.
  • No! Becoming popular on Twitter, alone, is not a marketing strategy. Twitter is not a magic wand.
  • No! Marketing online is not a technology job!
  • No! I will not choke you until you turn blue for being ignorant, but mostly because I don’t want that on my résumé.
  • No! You may not have another free consultation. Do you swipe the whole tray of free samples at the grocery store, too, deadbeat?

Number Three Love About My Next Marketing Job: Dishonest Clients Turn to Dust

I will never be ripped off for the value of a new luxury car again! Oh yes, that actually happened in my former professional life.

I guess I can sum this one up pretty quick with the words Suture Express. That’s the name of a company where the CFO (now CEO), Bryan Forsythe, claimed the check was in the mail (for weeks) and ripped me off, but then tried to pay me off later to take down what I wrote about them because my marketing was too good. Marketing Lesson Learned: Don’t hire the best marketing guy you can find, but then rip him off when it’s time to pay the bill. Even the best reputation management cannot make up for decisions that bad.

This one is a case study in what not to do if you ever want to market a business online. Just see how many nice things show up in the first page of Google when searching their company name. When I say this one is a case study, it really is, and it’s been referenced in keynotes at industry conferences. It is a case study that I will never need to address in my next marketing job – not a chance!

Number Four Love About My Next Marketing Job: A Great Team

I feel fortunate for my knack at finding the right people for the job. Knowing how to recognize and delegate to the best people for the task at hand has served me exceptionally well in my career. They don’t always need an MBA or a perfect résumé. They have to be right for the responsibilities they are given.

The think tanks are built in! A skill that I very often embrace is putting together think tanks of bright and talented people who can imagine the right questions and think their way through to solutions as a group. Ideas are fun to produce and shape into works of art. Thinking and being with thinkers creates great passion for me.

I look forward to working with a team where I can make magic happen and we can be glad to see each other every morning. That’s worth more than money alone, and that spins my turbines!

My new office will come complete with thinkers to put into the tank, and will also enjoy the benefits of my existing network of great thinkers.

Number Five Love About My Next Marketing Job: They Will Love Me, Too!

I am a highly dedicated person, and I take a lot of pride in doing things the right way. When I consider my new adventure, it is important that my new employer recognizes my dedication to their success. Likewise, they will be dedicated to my success.

I don’t just skip around to the next great thing in my career. I have three more kids and many more years of experience than I did the last time I changed jobs. I am not wishy-washy about my work, and I don’t plan to leave anytime soon.

My next employer will appreciate my dedication, and they will notice very early that “This Murnahan guy doesn’t think like those other applicants. He has something special in mind.” They’ll be right, too. I have some very special ideas in store for my next employer – and they will love it!

Number Six Love About My Next Marketing Job: The Location is Amazing

As I discussed this with my wife, we realized that the location of my next marketing job will be incredible. We will enjoy a great city that is mostly new to us, and we will discover many amazing things to do as a husband and wife with three brilliant kids. We will see our new adventure with amazement, and we’re each very excited to know where it will be!

Number Seven Love About My Next Marketing Job: I Get Paid for This!

With all the great things that come with my next marketing job, I’ve got to say that getting paid for doing what I love is fantastic! I’ll probably be paid a whole lot. It will not match my previous seven digit earnings, but it’s going to be a nice income for doing the job I would choose if all jobs paid exactly the same thing.

There you have it. That’s the list of seven things I love about my next marketing job. Do you have a list burning to get out? I know I could sure go on with a Top 100 list. For now, this one feels like a great start. I hope it will help you to think about your own list.

I have just one more thing to add. If you have a good lead for where I may find my next marketing job, please introduce me or pass this along to others. Perhaps it will eventually land on the right desk of that one special person at that one special company for me. Thank you kindly!

Pssst! Here are links to my résumé and a little more about me.

Photo Credits:
LOVE Park sign by Brandon Weight via Flickr
punks in love by Patrick via Flickr