I believe there is an unrealistic fear that challenges many people in my line of work, and I bold enough to address it even if others are not.

There are certain elements within the fields of SEO and social media marketing which cause many misunderstandings and hardships for reputable people with good means and good intent. People have chosen many names for the people representing those bad elements, but one stands out more prominently than others. For now I’ll call it “the D word”, and it is something wise people must be cautious of being grouped with.

It seems that the bad elements in social media and SEO have caused some quality people to become unreasonably afraid to properly promote their goods or services. It affects many other industries, and it seems to have created an overall hypersensitivity which causes many people to just hint about how they actually keep their business running, rather than be upfront about it. This is often an unreasonable fear, but definitely worth some consideration. I’ll explain this with a story.

When you think of the hardest jobs ever, you probably don’t think of social media marketing. Maybe you think that digging ditches would be harder. Maybe you will even think it through a bit more and imagine that working with terminal patients in a children’s cancer ward, or hunkering down in a fox hole and hearing enemy troops coming close would rank right up there as the hardest jobs. Oh yeah? Well, let me tell you about the job of a social media marketing consultant and strategist.

People are very selfish by nature. They don’t always think about the others around them. It is ingrained in each of us, from the very beginning, to preserve ourselves and to do what we can, to get the things we need. By default, we think of ourselves, and our own preservation, above that of others. After all, we are less equipped to help others if we cannot help ourselves first. Acting otherwise is a learned trait, and still must come with oneself in mind. After all, unlimited altruism would have devastating consequences.

Many people have a very confused view of social media, and I can understand why. If you just look at all the ways social media is used, there should be little wonder how people confuse the issues. Some of the most bewildering concerns I notice surrounding social media are the return on investment (ROI) and the cost of social media marketing.

Millions of the world’s businesses understand by now that an investment in social media is vital to their success. Tragically, many of the same businesses are generally clueless about how and why they spend money with social media, and how to optimize their spending for the best results.

These same confused companies are further complicated by misguided notions that social media is limited to, or primarily intended only for personal socializing. They are the companies who question why a business would use Twitter, because that is where people announce what they had for lunch, LinkedIn is just for job-hunters, and Facebook is where old high school friends swap stories. That is social networking, and networking is important, but it is only one facet of social media. If you confuse this, and think that social networking is the basis for social media marketing, you will waste a huge amount of energy trying to sell to your friends, and others who already know you.

I want to discuss the biggest fallacy of social media for a moment. It surrounds a tightly held misconception that many people will refuse to let go of, because somebody with perceived authority told them it is “how social media is done.” It is made worse every day because of all the people who have the mentality that “if they are doing it, it must be OK.”

People often want examples to follow. It makes them more comfortable with their decisions. Sometimes it turns out just great, but it often leads to a whole lot of “imitation marketing” with horrible results. Didn’t your dad ever use the line about your friends and a cliff with you?

If you are one of those people who expect social media favors because somebody owes you something, just stop it! If you like something and find value in it, share it with others or do whatever it is that you do with good information. Just don’t assume that it means people owe you anything.

In business, and in life, reciprocity is a wonderful thing. It feels good to do business with people who do business with you, right? You have probably heard the old saying, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

A problem with reciprocity comes when people start doing things they would normally not do, only in hopes of demanding favors in return. It is nice to reciprocate, but this does not mean it is implied.