Internet Marketing Parody with Johnny C. Lately (remix)

Who isn’t tired of the “Johnny Come Lately” type of Internet marketers who put hype over substance? These are the creeps who give Internet marketing a bad name. Sadly, many people who encounter the “Johnny Come Lately” Internet marketer come to believe that Internet marketing just doesn’t work.

If Johnny is convincing, he will take enough of his victim’s money that they often become too cynical or cannot afford to fix what Johnny broke. Worse yet, Johnny may hurt their reputation and get their Websites penalized in Google and other search engines.

When you think Internet marketing comes with a high price tag, just consider what happens when you go with Johnny Come Lately.

Johnny Come Lately is back with a remix. I am just having a little fun at the expense of those who pee in my industry pool. I hope you enjoy the video!

Have You Met Johnny?

Please share your thoughts or any encounters you have had with Johnny Come Lately Internet marketers. I appreciate your comments!

5 Common Reasons Blogs Fail

I recently wrote an article titled “10 Really Good Reasons to Blog” and if the reasons blogs fail caught your eye, you should really read the one on good reasons to blog.

I got to thinking about how there is another side to the coin. There are some common reasons blogs fail. This is the short list. I am not going to keep you long. Read it, think about it for just a moment, and do what you will with it.

  1. The author gets “too busy” and realizes that they do not have the same amount of time every other successful blogger has. They were robbed at birth by a debilitating disorder called “busy” and their day only has 23 hours.
  2. The author is greedy, and since this Internet thing isn’t paying out like they were so sure it would, they are taking their remaining money and heading to the casino.
  3. The author writes poorly and had no business trying to author a blog in the first place.
  4. Nobody is interested in the subject matter (I saw this once, but then even the blog about Strawberry Shortcake and the Flying Green Monkeys had a few readers).
  5. The readers, although plentiful, did not take the time to participate in the discussion.

5 Solutions to These 5 Common Reasons Blogs Fail

  1. Stop being lazy. You still have 24 hours every day like the rest of us … go buy a new watch and see for yourself. If you feel like you have less time, you are probably just not using it wisely.
  2. Stop listening to liars. The Internet is not your mother. Getting fed takes effort. Make more effort.
  3. Hire a second grade student. Seriously … at least then you will have a good excuse for not knowing the differences between two, too, and to; your and you’re; it’s and its; or their, there, and they’re. If you don’t think the second grader will work for you, then you are probably smart enough to hire a better writer.
  4. Everything has an audience. Do you recall that Charles Manson guy who got in some trouble for killing? Yes, even he has fans!
  5. Add your comments here on my blog. Anything else is on the verge of criminal abuse of my thoughtful work.

Everybody Hates Spam … But What If?

You hate spam, I hate spam … we all hate spam. Right?

I spend a lot of time reading, researching, and finding out about stuff. I like knowing things. While I am reading, learning, and soaking in the glory of this Information Superhighway we have all built together, I encounter a lot of spam. Don’t we all?

We all want it to feel like a global community and we all want to know more about people, things, places and more. We find out how different we are, and we find out how similar we are. We find out what others like, and we find out things they don’t like. Sometimes we mix it up and forget that while we are so vigilant about not hearing the stuff we don’t want to hear (spam), we may miss a few things we do want to hear.

People love to talk about themselves. People with kids love to talk about their kids. People who love food love to talk about the great cuisine they just enjoyed. People with something to sell love to talk about their goods.

We each have a lot to say, and when we can connect it all with a worldwide crowd, it validates us. It makes us feel less alone. It makes us HUMAN!

I have always been careful to discourage a bunch of spam on my blog comments. I want real comments that people will find useful and will build a conversation. At the same time, I have to question what I may be missing.

I wrote a post once upon a time asking for people to share their Twitter usernames. It was titled “Twitter Username Selection: What’s in a Name?” It turned out that even with over 160 comments, it was not entirely a spamfest, but also allowed people to share who they are. It allowed people to talk about themselves. It also allowed and encouraged people to connect.

That is what I am offering now, but in a different way. I want to ask each of you … yes, YOU, to share a little about yourself. What do you like? What are you all about? What do you do for a living? Do you have something to sell? Share it with people here, because you never know whom you may connect with.

Hey, what can be the worst outcome? We have to sort through a little bit of junk to find the prize? They do that at diamond mines, too.

This is my call for spam. Place your spam here. When I say spam, in this case I mean to not be afraid to talk about yourself … I don’t mean to offer your free diplomas or cheap Rolex watches. I mean, connect, share, and don’t be afraid to drop a link or sell us some stuff. As long as it is in good taste, let it fly. This is a mixer, so by all means, MIX!

NOTE: If you are wondering how or if I will moderate this … Yes, I will probably have to shut the comments off at some point or begin some manual moderation. Big deal, I can handle it. As long as it sounds genuine and is not illegal, go ahead and share it with the rest of us!

By the way … aren’t you curious what people will say when they are actually requested to talk about themselves? Be sure to subscribe to the comments!

UPDATE: Take a look at the things we may miss when we become too cynical. There are some really talented and amazing people in this world, and right here in the blog comments! Let us all be sure that we each stop and smell the flowers.

Why Are You Reading This?

“Why are you reading this?” This is perhaps the most important question a blogger can ask. This is not only for bloggers, but it also goes for Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or other social media users. You do not have to ask your readers directly, but it is the question that should be considered whenever you sit down to write.

You have probably heard how important it is to know your customer. I still find a lot of people who do not know how to answer me when I ask specific questions about who their customers are … or who they think their customers are. Sometimes this question of “why are you reading this” will be as simple as “because the author is just so damn interesting”, but that is seldom the case. I like to think it is because I am good looking and people just like to come back and see my picture … but I doubt even that is the case. Well, probably for some?

What’s in it for them?

Let’s be realistic for a moment. I don’t like being realistic, but I will give it a whirl, just for you. People read what you have to say for a number of reasons. These reasons can include entertainment, industry facts, product facts, respect for your opinion, and a whole lot of other things. The one common factor is that there is something in it for them! Knowing your readers reason and knowing what is in it for them is imperative to your success. Digging deeper, you can look at a whole lot of data to key in on who they are and why they read what you have to say, but just looking at the surface can get you started.

It may seem tricky to find what they want at first, but there is something on the surface to tell you what they are after … there always is. Much can be discovered if you simply ask yourself why you write what you write. I will share my example and hopefully it can help jump start some thinking about how it may apply to you. Maybe you can draw some useful parallels.

In my case, I write about things I know well. My inspiration very often comes from something that happened. If somebody asks me a question and I had a good answer or additional thoughts on the topic, I blog about it. I mostly write about my industry … the Internet. I am a search engine optimization guy, social media guy, a programmer guy, a Web hosting guy, an ecommerce guy … pretty much your overall “Web Guy” (hence my blog aWebGuy.com). I have been in my job since the mid 1990’s, and I have a lot of experience … so I share it.

So why do people read it? People want to know about my industry. For some people it is totally alien, and others just want another opinion to draw ideas from. I try to break it down and make it easier to understand, and I try to help people make it more useful. I try to help people with good ideas about marketing. I give them something. There is something in it for them. There is a value proposition. I try to fill a need.

What’s in it for you (me)?

Since we asked the first question of what’s in it for them, naturally there should be a mutual value. There should be something in it for both parties. Otherwise, one of the parties is getting stiffed. The important part is that you make the “what’s in it for you” (me) the secondary focus. If you focus first on giving and second on receiving, you will receive a whole lot more!

I could never do all of the writing I do without some remuneration (getting paid). Well, maybe I could, but it would not be as good. I would probably let you down, and we don’t want that. In my case, I let people know that they can reach me for help, and if they really want to get serious in their marketing, that is what I am paid for. That is just a very small piece of my readership. Most will never become a client … ever. This fact actually helps me, because I am not trying to sell you a bunch of stuff. Plus, I am also the CEO of YourNew.com, Inc., so that is really my bread and butter … not my blog. That means I can focus better on what’s in it for you … err, “them”.

Your Core Readership

By knowing and trying to understand your core readership, you will be better equipped to serve them. It is this core readership that I would consider to be your “translators” and your “promoters”. If you are giving them value and making sure that there is something in it for them the translation and promotion can look like this:

Translation: When I say translate, it can mean that they hear a need from somebody else and they translate it as that person’s need for what you wrote. Another type of translation can happen when they comment on your blog with their interpretation of your message. It can be good for them, and it can be good for you … you learn together.

Promotion: If your core readers know somebody who should be reading your writing, they will pass it along, and often with their translation as well … or even an excuse for you. For example, you may pass this along to somebody and say “hey, you need more business and I know a guy who can help … but he is kind of unconventional, so just forgive him if he drops cigarette ashes or spills coffee on your rug.”

Your core readership will get to know you and your personal brand. It is normally best if you keep it human. Maybe even a bit funny and quirky and entertaining now and then. People are people … they like people stuff.

Translate This!

OK, now it is your turn, my core readership. Go ahead and translate this for others. That is what blog comments are for. Also, please be sure to answer the original question: Why are you reading this?

HubSpot SEO and Social Media Lessons and Review

HubSpot has some things to learn about both social media and SEO. I like some of the people at HubSpot, so don’t take this all as negative. This is just my cursory review from what I know of the company. I think if you are willing to spend a lot of money for mediocre search engine results in a non-competitive market, they are a great bet. Their Website Grader product is a kind of neat tool, and the company has some great minds at work, when they elect to use them.

I met Jonah Lopin, VP of Customer Operations at HubSpot during “Integrated Marketing Summit” in St. Louis, where we both gave talks on social media. After our talks, we were both very pleased with the similarity in our message, and we exchanged cards. It was actually a bit shocking how similar some of the messages we delivered were. I spoke from 11-12:00 p.m. and Jonah spoke at 2:45 p.m., so he surely took a lot of great notes (just kidding Jonah)! I like Jonah Lopin. He is clearly a thinking man.

HubSpot is Marginal … But Trying

HubSpot has a lot going for it, but a long way to come, in my professional opinion. In the true spirit of giving and sharing, I figured “where else will they learn it but from an SEO guy whom they spit on after a social media campaign gone wrong?” Yes, that is me, and yes, I feel like HubSpot spit in my face. They still owe me a camera that I won last December, and they still do not seem to listen … but I will get to that.

Remember, I did say that I like HubSpot, so when I say I want to teach a lesson, I mean it in the most constructive possible way. The real question is in whether HubSpot will accept the lesson in good spirit, or just keep spitting until they run out of moisture.

Am I qualified to give lessons to a company that just secured $33 million and has such smart SEO people? I will allow you, my reader, to find the answer to this question. Let’s first just consider this: You were looking for information about HubSpot … and you arrived here. Most would say that I am extremely well qualified to give HubSpot SEO lessons (after all, go and search Google for SEO lessons and you will find me pretty readily). When it comes to HubSpot’s social media lesson, I think social media already answered this in my favor as well. I will explain.

SEO Lesson for HubSpot and Website Grader

My first lesson for HubSpot would be this: You are wrong about H1 tags. Go ahead and try to prove me wrong, the way a few other “SEO gurus” have tried, but the proof is in the Google. If you Google H1 tags, I will give you a cookie if you find more than one unpaid spot above my article on H1 tags titled “H1 Tags Improve Search Engine Placement“. Go ahead and Google H1 tags to see for yourself and then tell me how having multiple H1 tags on a page should create a warning on Hubspot’s Website Grader. Note: Be sure to count how many h1 tags you find in that article, will you please, HubSpot? If more than one H1 tag receives your warning, why the heck have I been riding the top of that search for most of a decade with a badly formatted page full of H1 tags?

It seems funny to me, but the issue of multiple H1 tags must be the one thing that makes this blog only rank 99.9 out of 100 in HubSpot Website Grader, while you graded your own Website lower than mine. Don’t make me pull out the screenshots.

Well, HubSpot, this blog has a comment section, and you should perhaps hike your “junk” up really high and use it to engage with your proper audience, which are my readers.

Social Media Lesson for HubSpot

This social media thing is great, but does HubSpot get it? I think they really want to, and I think they try really hard, but just like so many other companies busy borrowing millions of dollars and appeasing their investors, they lose all grasp on doing what they set out to do. They let me down, and I am quite certain I am not the only one.

In my case, I clearly showed HubSpot how social media works.

To HubSpot: I not only provided a very creative response to your contest on Facebook, I won it by such a huge margin that Stevie Wonder saw that from a mile away! Was anybody even within fifty percent of the votes, or even one tenth as many new Facebook fans that I brought you? What I am left with is a bad taste of HubSpot for dropping the ball and not standing up and showing that you can do anything with the benefits you receive. If your Facebook fans are worth so little that you have to wait for a $200 camera to go on sale to fulfill your contest, then what in the heck did you do with the $33 million reported by Jonah Lopin at Integrated Marketing Summit in St Louis?

My Summary Review for HubSpot

We can all talk about doing things to create more business, but only the companies who actually back it up will matter in the end. HubSpot has a good grasp on the importance of inbound marketing. Of course, if you look at HubSpot material, it seems they think they invented it. Wrong, HubSpot … it has been around for a very long time, and even here on the Internet.

I have been an inbound marketing practitioner for decades. I built one of the most recognized companies in the wholesale Internet access market without so much as speaking at a single conference or even poking my face above a computer screen for years. I was even called a “bully CEO” by some pretty huge and well-funded competitors because I would engage in real business instead of just talking about it or letting investors screw it up. I have been doing this “new” online inbound marketing since the mid 1990’s, so I guess online inbound marketing is not so new, really. Maybe it just takes a pack of hungry investors and a Guru or two putting out fluff and maybe some people will buy it. Maybe it will last until the investors are happy, and maybe it will not.

We can all make up cool and flashy terms that sound so “engaging” and as if HubSpot is the latest flock of Guru birds, (I tasted my own vomit when I saw the word “Guru” in your articles) but what HubSpot failed to recognize is their market. The market for HubSpot is being missed by a mile, and the ones that are not being missed are the ones you are irritating.

What do you have to say about this, HubSpot?

Hubspot is Trying, I Get That

I am aware that you are seeking to improve HubSpot, and I want the best for you. The best thing I can say that this individual needs to get paid better than you may be ready to hear, and come in prepared to upset the apple cart and start making things happen. When you want to make improvements to inbound marketing, don’t go shopping for a camera on sale, and be ready to give this person the kingdom. He or she may teach you a lesson or two.

REVISION: 3 February Mid Day:

Did anybody notice that Mike Volpe of HubSpot responded pretty quickly, but did not come back when people started to question his word after realizing he was not truthful with me? Denial is a curious thing. It can save you from your shame … for a little bit. I hope you will enjoy all the comments below.

REVISION: 3 February Evening
I got the camera … but you should really watch this video! Somebody over at HubSpot is not very apologetic, and may do well to get his conscience in check. o_O

I think he should read “Living in the Storm” for a better look at life beyond only the moment.

In any case, the camera is fantastic and I still have some respect for HubSpot. In my overall HubSpot review, I must say that they have a lot to learn, so I may just have to treat them like kids once in a while. They will likely never be able to provide a return on investment for their customers the way I can, but maybe they will improve in time. For now, it seems that if you look around a bit for other reviews of HubSpot, it reflects a similar sentiment to mine, and a lot of potential to improve.