Internet antagonists Archives by Mark Murnahan

11 Important Internet Marketing Laws

There are many legalities in doing business online. It shocks me just how many people are unaware of the laws they break online. I have spent well over a decade learning laws relating to the Internet. There are laws dealing with credit card handling; laws to address copyright; industry-specific laws for things like medical records, legal records, and etcetera; and of course, laws to deal with SPAM.

I believe it is time to consider a list of important Internet marketing laws. They may seem elementary, but I think these are still laws worth addressing. So here is the short list, but of course there are many more. I just want to start you off with eleven Internet marketing laws, and you can add your own comments.

Internet Marketing Law One: Typographical

If you think it has not already been done, you probably just made a typographical error. Google it again. Somebody else already does that.

Internet Marketing Law Two: Urgency

If you think it can be done better, hurry! There are many people who agree with you, and they are already working on it.

Internet Marketing Law Three: Correctness

If you think you have done everything flawlessly and nobody can fault it, blog it, Facebook it, and tweet it. You were probably not as correct as you expected.

Internet Marketing Law Four: Persecution

People will persecute you, but if you do not receive an occasional death threat or flame-letter, it just means you are not reaching enough people. You probably suck at Internet marketing. Give up now, before you anger me. You will not like me when I am angry.

Internet Marketing Law Five: Client Errors

Client errors only happen to new or inexperienced Internet marketing people. Fire them and start over with new ones (but give them my number).

Internet Marketing Law Six: Delegation

If you think somebody else can do it better than you, delegate it. Pay somebody else so you can get back to working on the things that delight your customers. This will save you a lot of headache and lost opportunities.

Internet Marketing Law Seven: Perfection

You are not perfect. Somebody can always do it better than you. This is the Internet for Pete’s sake. See Internet Marketing Law Six. You know what to do.

Internet Marketing Law Eight: Expenditures

Internet fame and fortune will not be yours for the taking with just a couple hours per day when you pay only $299 for the magical out-of-the-box online business. That dude is lying! If he was extremely convincing, it is because he is still really wanting to recoup the $299 that he spent on his magical box. Don’t you think that if it was true, corporations like Google, Microsoft, McDonald’s, WalMart, and Pepsi would have already purchased all of those magical boxes? Well, they didn’t, and that means the one holding the box is a sucker with a few hundred less buck to waste on their next blue sky failure.

Internet Marketing Law Nine: Success

There is no magical pink pony ride to success. Just ask somebody who has done it. Live with it. Success will not be as easy as the job you left. If it was easy, nobody would call it success. They would call it … hmmm … oh yes, they would call it average.

Internet Marketing Law Ten: Public Exposure

If you get really great at Internet marketing, the traditional sense of “public” can be a frightening place. Those people talk, think, look, and act different than you remembered. All that time basking in monitor-glow has made sunshine a creepy notion, and you forgot that offline cash registers actually still make sounds (so old-fashioned).

Internet Marketing Law Eleven: Time

If you are going to make it with Internet marketing, you had better stop wasting time on silly junk like this and get back to work. Just don’t forget to pass it along to all your friends so they don’t get too far ahead of you.

Cyber Bullying, Death Threats, and Other Cyber Crimes

I was prompted to write this after filing a complaint with the FBI for death threats I received here on this very blog. You may not receive death threats, but surely you have encountered people who became less-than-civilized and abusive online. For most of us, I suspect that it really shocks us how somebody can get so upset over what may seem insignificant to us.

I guess I never realized how scandalous and heated the topics of my writing can be. Apparently this humorous article that I wrote last February really got somebody’s emotions all stirred up. I cannot say a lot about the details or post the comments yet, but perhaps I will in due time.

One thing I can say is that the abuser claimed that the article “didn’t spark my interest in the least”, which I know is a lie because they spent an hour and fifty three minutes writing and re-writing their comments. That sounds like more than a “spark”, but rather a raging inferno. So how in the heck can a simple article on writing good copy inspire so much anger that the reader threatens to kill me? I will allow your guesses in the comments for this blog post. No death threats, please!

Why do some people say things online that they would never say to your face? Do I have an answer for this, yes and no. I know a good share about the Internet. After all, I have earned my living based on providing Internet services for well over a decade. As CEO of one of the top wholesale providers of Internet access and Web hosting, I have just about seen it all. I am the guy people come to with a subpoena for server logs and other evidence to prove the crime or track the criminal. I have helped to put people in jail for child pornography, terroristic threats, fraud, and other crimes. I have worked with law enforcement on many occasions, and it has often given me a huge eye-opener to the human condition.

Perceived Anonymity

The psychology of perceived anonymity is strange. It shocks me, but it is pretty common that the abuser actually believes that they are anonymous. With this feeling of being anonymous, I suppose a bully really lets out what they are all about deep-down. They can really let their misery show when they think there is no price to pay for their anger and hate. In many instances where the crime is small, their identity is never researched and revealed, but of course this is not always the case.

Hateful Bullying

It seems that a lot of people do not consider how things they write may affect other people. Some people seem to enjoy causing hurt or frustration to others. I believe this is often the person who feels very insignificant and small. The only way they can be heard and get the attention they need is to be mean. I think we have all known a bully at some point in life. Maybe you knew him or her as a child on the playground. The sad thing for this tormented soul is that they never grew up, but you did.

Bullies often go overboard just to emphasize their frustration. I have witnessed many mean-spirited comments that are quite certainly overstated. I have a good friend who is a meteorologist. It seems the weatherman is easy to blame when the weather does not go as hoped. This guy gets all kinds of hateful complaints, and not for his work or his presentation, but for the weather. Yes, he gets angry complaints for the weather that “he caused”!

I have had hate mail, mean blog articles written about me, and more than a couple of harassing comments on social networking Websites. You can say that it is simply a matter of numbers, and that if you reach enough people there are surely some who will be mean. It is true that the more people you reach, the more you will find hate. However, as social media use is more widely adopted, it is much easier to spread that hate to an even larger number of people.

Put Out Their Fire

If you encounter bullying, I ask that you remember what it is the bully seeks. They often want attention. If you give it to them, you allow them to bolster their pride to carry on. If you ignore them and snuff out their flame, you will often save yourself and those around you a lot of negativity.

Negativity spreads quickly. Consider this in how you interact with others online.

When it goes too far and it becomes criminal, it is time to contact The Internet Crime Complaint Center, your local FBI office, or other authority of proper jurisdiction.

Internet Stalkers and Their Victims: What If?

I have been around this Internet a long time. I suppose I may have a bit of a different view through the eyes of experience, but haven’t we all had some sense of caution about our online identity at some point? For over a decade, I have presented myself as “just me” and never tried to hide a lot of what I think, feel, do, or where and how I live. I guess you could say that I kind of just grew into an acceptance of my job here on the Internet.

In the early days of many Internet users’ online experience, I think a lot of people have a hypersensitive caution of “those people” out there lurking on the Internet and seeking a way to pick them out as the next victim. This is certainly a possibility, and they have all the right and reason for a healthy concern. I have a lot friends and relatives I would never want to see present themselves too openly to the Internet. Many of them would surely be picked off quick as the next identity fraud victim or have their life’s savings re-purposed for the benefit of a historic Nigerian bank transfer scam.

There are a lot of people using the Internet, such as me, whom have developed an understanding of the Internet. This includes the good and bad sides of the Internet. Something we all eventually learn is that the people we meet online are the same people we can meet in a grocery store, our kids’ schools, a restaurant, or elsewhere. The same good people and the same serial killers are found both online and offline. In fact, with the exception of only a small few serial killers, the grocery store would be a common place where nearly all of us may be found at some point in time. I am sorry if I frighten a grocery store clerk or two, but let’s face it … a grocery store gets about as many psychos as any other place. We all have to eat sometime!

A huge difference with the Internet is that it is easy for many people to say and do things that they would otherwise never say or do. It is not only a false act of courage, but also often a lack of consideration that the recipients are real people, with real lives, and with real feelings. I can give many examples of this. I mean, we see it all the time. I will share one that sticks out for me right now from a conversation I had with a good friend who shared comments of a hateful email he received from a viewer of his television news program. He is the Chief Meteorologist and he gives his best effort as a weatherman. Note that this is a guy who is scolded for his work, whether it rains, or whether it is sunny … he cannot make everybody happy (just like the rest of us). He was telling me of a scathing email message he received from a viewer who was angry for his mention of the sponsor of a tower camera that he uses to illustrate the local weather. Seriously … the guy was actually mad at my friend because he would recite the name of the hotel where the camera resides. Not only that, but he spent the time to write a mean-spirited email to scold my friend. I do not know about you, but I see a serious sickness in this. Anybody who will spend their time to hold anger and to project that anger on to others must have a seriously sad life, indeed.

I have witnessed one of these angry and unfortunate souls lurking on the perimeter of my life, but I consider mine more of a stalker than only a sad and depraved soul. I have an antagonist who spends time from each and every day of his life to seek ways to spew his falsely-begotten anger for me upon anybody who will listen. If you are wondering why, or how I have done somebody so wrong that they would waste their energy on me … well, I am wondering that same thing. I mean, I do not remember any outstanding atrocities that would bring about these feelings for a “normal” human being. This brings me to the point … it is not normal … not even a little bit, for somebody to actually pinpoint a complete stranger and focus anger upon them.

When I encounter this, as I did once before from a person claiming to be a vampire and threatening to come to my home and devour my family, I do my best to handle it in a grown up way. I try to ask them why, and how I can make them stop obsessing about me. I do my best to make reparations for whatever perceived damage I have caused them. It eventually becomes a battle between which of the following options I have the patience to muster. Perhaps you have better ideas, and I warmly welcome your comments here on my blog. Here are a couple ways that I see it once it gets out of hand, and early diplomacy and ignoring it has not worked. Yeah, this is a true instance, in case you were wondering.

Option One: “Wow, I am sorry that you feel so consumed by this. Maybe we can sit and talk about it as two grown up human beings. Heck, we may even find out that we are both human and even gain respect for each others’ space.”

Option Two: “Look, Punk … If you continue this path, you may find that you are screwing with a Man, and not a Boy. I have a family of five to support and defend. When you interrupt that, you are treading in a very dangerous and sacred territory. You are way out of your league, and you will do best to get this obsession out of your head, now.”

Yeah, that is right, you reached my radar. I have read your spewing hatred, and I will happily give you many proper rebuttals to show you that what you say, and what you assume, is entirely inaccurate and falsified by your lack of a back-story. If you think you are going to benefit, go ahead. The truth is that you are only going to make this a ridicule of yourself more than me. I have been a grown up and quite kind about your antagonism, but when my wife starts questioning when we will find “this freak” sitting on our porch or peering in our windows, you are crossing a line that you are best to back away from.

What if you are messing with somebody other than me? What if you mess with my family … my wife … my three children? What if I grow concern for it and feel a need to defend? What if I return-pitch and you have to answer these questions?