The particular incident I will explain occurred on Facebook, but can happen anywhere. I read a Facebook status of a person who was contemptuous toward the American judicial system. The person who wrote it was angry about the way the laws of his country work. He had a bone to pick. I suspect that anybody with a parking citation could give some criticism of the court system. Is it perfect? Of course not, but when compared to many nations, it is pretty effective. Whether we adapt our behavior to live within the laws, or not, is our choice, but this is not a legal argument … it is a blog about misunderstanding and making assumptions.
I had a reply for the Facebook status. Replies are accepted on Facebook. If you do not want a reply, it is generally a good idea that you keep it off your Facebook wall. My reply was based on my opinion of his status message. It made him angry that I gave my honest response. Perhaps he would have preferred that I lie.
He took my disagreement as public disrespect toward him. He was angry because he thought everybody should agree with him. I came to find out by calling him on the telephone that the reason he was so passionate about the topic came with a back-story. His Facebook status did not come with a back-story, or perhaps I would have commented on that, too. It seems that he is angry that a bunch of his family members are in jail as a result of a grand jury indictment that he thinks is unfair. My opinion is that a grand jury is usually not something to mess with, and those kind of indictments do not normally come without cause. I think there is a pretty good assumption that you have broken the law before they assemble a grand jury.
I have never faced charges before a grand jury. Come to think of it, nobody in my family has ever been indicted by a grand jury. Five of his family members were, all at once. Darn the luck, somehow this guy’s whole family seems to be getting the shaft. What an amazing coincidence that the courts are picking on his family all at once … and all of them innocent. Darn the luck, he presented a statement for others to comment on it … but preferably in his favor.
In any case, this very passionate individual was angry that I made a reply that did not suit his agenda. He made the assumption that everybody reading his Facebook status would respond to his lengthy story of his innocently imprisoned family rather than to this individual comment he made. In fact, he even said, in our telephone conversation, that “Most of the 400 people on my Facebook know the whole story behind it.” If you make this kind of assumption, you are delusional and bound to encounter many disagreements.
The point here is that if you make a brief statement about something, it is unwise to assume that everybody knows your lengthy story behind the statement. If it is in a Twitter or Facebook status update, be sure that if you do not want people to respond to only a portion of your message that you give them the whole story for their consideration. Otherwise, be happy that they took the care to reply to what little information you gave them.
On a similar note, it is best that if a person does give you a more complete story that you do not simply comment on the title of the story. What I mean by this is that if you comment on a Facebook or Twitter update that has a link associated, be sure you are not only commenting on the subject, but rather on the whole story.
This is just one of many simple ways to avoid conflict in social media. Please tell me what you think. I await your comments.