Marketing Clients vs. Crybaby Sissy Bed-Wetters

Scared Wet About Marketing
Scared Wet About Marketing

When people lack confidence in proper marketing, they lose! They lose time, they lose opportunities, and they lose money … lots of it! I don’t even feel a need to prove this, because for people who don’t get it, we have a phrase for that. The phrase is “survival of the fittest”, and if you have some guts, you are far more fit than a lot of your competition.

Believe me when I say that most of your competitors are total wimps! If we took them back to elementary school, you could see most of your competition walking to the office to call Mommy and ask her to bring a dry pair of pants to school. They are scared, and to say they are “pants-wetting scared” is not such a big stretch.

I mean, look at yourself … aren’t you just a tiny bit creeped out? Doesn’t it give you the willies just a little to do what it really takes to grow your company?

Seriously, if you never knew this, you deserve to know. Most people making decisions about marketing for their company are scared to death of marketing. I am going to share a real-life story with you in a moment to emphasize the point, but for a moment, just take it on faith.

This common fear of marketing is especially the case with the good kind of marketing that comes with proper research, solid strategy, efficient forecasting, and net profit … yes, positive return on investment. The reason the good profit-generating marketing is scariest of all is because it is the kind that requires decisive action … and money!

Drat! It’s another one of those long reads. Don’t worry, though, because I recorded it for you. Just click play and listen if you like. It is sure to give you some food for thought and a laugh … I’m sure of it!

The Way Many Companies View Marketing

A lot of companies seek the lowest possible effort and the highest possible return. That is smart business, but they often focus more on that low effort and completely lose sight of the highest return.

You see, now that every reception desk has a computer, marketing is pretty much free. Just look around and you may discover that this is how your competition sees it. Anybody can prepare and execute a brilliant marketing campaign. All they have to do is sign up for one of those Facebook thingies, Twitterize 25-26 hours per day, and put some smiley-happy employees and customers on YouTube.

Voila! The marketing is fixed, and the money train will be chugging down the tracks in no time!

It may sound crazy to you, and I hope it does, but this is really how a lot of companies approach their online marketing. It is so simple that all it will take is a tweet or a Facebook mention. They see companies like the ones mentioned in an article I read in Telegraph.uk. Here is a quote:

Ticketmaster estimates that every time one of their customers posts on Facebook that they’ve bought a ticket, their friends spend an additional $5.30 with the site. When last year’s Google conference was taking place, they tweeted the morning of the conference: “100 tickets left, 550 bucks a piece, use this promotion code”. 11 minutes later they tweeted, “Sold them, thank you.” That’s $55,000 in sales with one tweet in 11 minutes.

Rub a lamp and wish for a genie! You don’t have Ticketmaster demand or Google reach. Something is stopping you, though, and it is not the tools … it is the planning and strategy. If you keep doing what you are doing, you will likely keep getting what you get. If it is time to step it up, then step it up and do something brilliant. Do something with a strategy! On the other hand, if it is time to lie down and die … do that, and go peacefully. Just don’t keep waiting for that magic genie to arrive. He’s not coming!

Break for a Wise Marketing Tip:

Some people actually screw this all up and think that what they are paying for with proper marketing is just a task. Any moron can do a task, so it should be cheap, right? I provided some examples of this train wreck mentality in the articles as follows:

Social Media Marketing Pricing Like Cab Rides by the Pothole

… and the profoundly absurd

Hourly Rate for Setting Up Social Media Profiles?!

Damn the luck, it seems that somebody tried to shove the whole population of marketing professionals into the same cage as if we are all the same critter. The good and bad are all mixed into one, and along with my high-end marketing buddies, I guess people surely think that we get paid for what we do.

The larger truth is that we get paid for what we know, how we know how to know what we know, how we think and analyze, who we know, and the other really unimaginable stuff that comes with experience, marketing talent, and brute creativity.

Pete and The Amazing Pee-Pants Pizza Parlor

I have a story about a guy named Pete. Seriously, this is a true story. Pete is very excited about selling his wildly amazing and awesomely marketable pizza franchise across the USA. He will possibly succeed, once he gets out of his own way, but he is still walking around in wet pants and trying to keep from vomiting at the thought of finally bringing it to market.

Sure, Pete logically knows that marketing is his most important asset. He realizes that Starbucks was a little coffee company and Subway was a little sandwich shop, and still would be without great marketing.

Actually, his name is not Pete, and his business is not pizza, but I’ll use that. His name is close enough to Pete, and his retail food franchise business is close enough to pizza to make the same point. The story is about a series of calamities that just drive me nuts. Nuts enough to share my opinion, and to welcome yours.

Here is the “hot sheet” version of how things have gone so far. Pete contacted me a year ago about his business. He was referred to me by a friend whom he trusts. Our mutual friend told Pete that the project was way out of her league. She explained that based on his hopes for massive adoption of his new franchise opportunity, he needs Murnahan (that’s me). Not a guy like me … me!

When Pete first contacted me, he was in an urgent rush to get his marketing in order. He was very concerned that he had already waited too long. He was afraid that based on his time frame for other business plans, he needed me on the project “yesterday”.

Pete was more than just a little blown away by things I shared with him about the possibilities for his business. I guess it was stupid of me to start dolling out free brain-juice, but heck, he was a referral, after all. Based on his own wildly flattering statements toward me, I was assured that he wanted to be my client, so I let fly with a few pan drippings from my brain in the roasting pan.

Dumb dumb Murnahan … I knew better, because giving too much freebie talk is a big open door to truckloads of non-paying brain work. I do it though, and it almost always bites me in the ass, because people really hate that transition to actually paying for the knowledge they need.

Skipping forward a damn long year and a whole bunch of phone calls that he has never paid for, Pete is calling me with wet pants again. He needs some serious help, and he talks like he is actually ready now.

The huge pause in his business was a funding snafu. Wouldn’t you know it that somehow those banking folks actually like qualified market projections in the business plan before they fund a deal. It is too bad Pete never thought of getting some better facts to work with. Maybe a year wouldn’t have spun by so rough for him.

Well, I guess we’ll kill the hooker tonight and worry about it tomorrow. Now we can just wing it on a half-assed budget and hope to make the bank happy. Yep, that’s how we roll, right Pete and Pete-like thinkers?

By the way, when I tease Pete about his wet pants or describe him as a shaky handed sweaty little fella who pulls the blankets over his head so the monsters don’t get him, I want to note that I like Pete. I like him plenty fine, even if he is a crybaby sissy bed-wetter and horrific planner.

Pete is a fine fella, and he will likely do very well in his business. His first and scariest step will be to listen to the consultant / strategist as much as he talks. Actually, before he can meet that scary challenge, he will have to get up off his steamy little pee-soaked wallet and pay for the scary monster he needs advice from.

The craziest thing I ever heard was when he finally rubbed his wet panties into my telephone ear yesterday and started asking for references. What the hell? We covered that last year! He has been putting his short-n-chubby in my ear all this time, reading my blog, sending me Facebook messages, email, and asking me for more brain-drippings, and now he’s asking if I’m qualified?! This is the same guy who has referred others to me when they needed serious help!

His biggest expressed concern is that I am a few hour flight away from his cozy little blankie. He wants to be able to manage my work close-up. Well if that isn’t silly … all it takes is money. If he is doing it right … I mean, right enough to sell 150 pizza franchises in the next two years, the least of his worry should be the cost of an airline ticket!

Somebody just effin’ give me a tequila, a hooker, and quarter to call home and I’ll sell more damn pizza stores than this guy can handle.

Pete has hopes, but they are only hopes so far. They are not goals, because he doesn’t have the market data to set goals yet. He is pretty reluctant to gather it, too.

Why do people try to kill me like this? Is it because they don’t have confidence in their market offering? Is it because they are so scared they would rather go broke than invest wisely in their own futures? Is it because they have no balls? What the hell?

I swear, if I put Pete in a room with the guy I recently wrote about hoping to put “100 percent” into his health and beauty industry marketing, but yet keep the budget under $10,000, I could slow down time enough that my trip to the looney bin will feel like a whole lifetime! Maybe my conniption will be worth it.

OK … that got a little teensy bit rant-ish, but sure was fun! Go ahead and level me out. Be my friend and help me to calm down and breath slower.

😉

I sincerely believe that marketing in itself is the hardest field of all to market to clients. It is because in damn near every other product or service I have ever marketed, there is always some sense that the potential customer has two brain cells to rub together. This is often simply not the case when people are in the market for marketing services. Not since the invention of the Internet money-train.

One more thing … Can somebody tell me who I need to whack over the head to get a decent client with dry pants?

Marketing ROI Factor: Are You a Client or a Customer?

Planning is a Critical Marketing Component
Planning is a Critical Marketing Component

I often ask people what they want to achieve in their business. Much of the time, they really don’t know. I ask questions relating to the sales volume of their industry, the volume they want to achieve, the market share increase they seek, and what they are doing, or willing to do to reach those things. It gets me a lot of blank stares and long pauses on phone lines. This is because they really don’t know.

Many companies don’t have goals, or even the right information to understand what goals are achievable at a given level of marketing effort. They don’t know what it will require to get the results they want, and many times they are entirely shut off to finding out the frightening truth of where they are and where they are headed. When this is the case, they simply do not have all the pieces of marketing math and science in place to make good decisions that will optimize their success.

Relax! If you don’t feel like reading right now, at least push the play button and listen to the audio version. I think you will gain something from this.

If you are a marketing professional of any decent calibur, you surely understand this, and deal with it all the time. You will appreciate this story, and wish for each of your customers to understand this. Otherwise, if you are a business person who is not involved in marketing, I will explain why you need to pay attention to your marketing people and stop trying to butt heads with them over things you don’t fully understand. If you don’t understand something, you should work with your marketing people to make things more understandable, and know this: Marketing professionals do a much better job when they are not getting roadblocked by you standing in your own way. They also perform much better if you are not having chest pains over every decision and over every nickel and dime. So, it is best that you pay attention and use what they know to your advantage. That is what they are there for!

The market information I mention here is not intuitive for most people. It is the data that a marketing director or consultant can deliver for you, digest for you, and provide continually updated measurement. Tragically, it is often overlooked when somebody chooses to kneecap the marketing department because they don’t understand the work we provide. It is important to have this information in order to build your strategy, or it will be much harder and usually impossible to achieve optimal results. If you overlook these fundamentals, you are building on a weakened foundation. It makes perfect sense, right? Fine, maybe not yet … so I’ll continue.

Without accurate information about market potential, a defined set of business objectives, and a clear knowledge of what it will take to meet your well-planned goals, a marketing campaign is often little more than an experiment in wasting money. Marketing should never be a “shot in the dark” like this, but I see it very often that this is the way companies, large and small, approach their market. It leaves little wonder why some companies view marketing as a risk, while others understand the sound investment it really is. When this miserable fate of marketing fear gains control, companies suffer in huge ways. The common cause is lack of research and planning. The common outcome is that somebody makes an executive decision to slow down the marketing train and pull it off the tracks.

When Return on Investment Goes Negative

Positive return on investment (ROI), is the magical part of marketing that keeps a business steaming forward. Sometimes companies accidentally stumble on a positive return on investment. After all, even a broken clock is right twice per day. When the return on investment comes without good planning, it is often just out of “luck”, and that “luck” runs out. When it is based on yesterday’s market information and yesterday’s strategy, a similar drop in ROI can be expected.

If you have encountered this in your company, let’s look at this again and reevaluate the importance of marketing. Marketing is what makes companies successful. Without good marketing, many phenomenally great companies have failed. Conversely, many presumed failures have become successful because of good marketing. There is a strong correlation in the outcome of a company and the quality of their marketing. Not just quantity of their marketing … I said quality. This requires providing your marketing people the resources they need so they can deliver what the company needs.

Marketing provides the math that runs the machine, and has a huge influence in everything from determining the right selling price of goods or services, to the CEO’s salary. It is a lot more than just advertising, branding, or updating your Facebook status. When marketing is done right, it is approached as a holistic strategy to make the company stronger and more profitable.

Notable Considerations: Starbucks was a little coffee company and Subway was a little sandwich shop in the beginning. Because they understood the principles I am expressing here, they have become some of the most successful companies in their fields.

Call for Marketing: A True Story

I received a telephone call from an existing client. Actually, he is more like a customer, because he thinks like a customer and creates his own roadblocks like a customer, which is unlike a client. I consider customers and clients two entirely different things.

Let me explain this: In my business, clients view me as an integral partner in their success, and not just a person who completes a series of tasks. They understand that my knowledge and experience is what brings them success, and not just my performance of a set of prescribed deeds. They pay attention, and they take my advice very seriously. Clients don’t tell me what to do about their marketing … they ask me what to do about their marketing.

To be a client, a person cannot nickel and dime their way through and stumble along an undefined path until they make it. We set goals together based on solid facts and market data, and we adjust them as needed. We create a finely polished plan and we work together to make that plan a success.

So, about the person who called me, I like this guy. He has been a customer for about four years, and we have built a relationship in that time. I consider him my friend. He has been to my home, and he has met my family. We are not strangers, and we have a mutual trust. If he says a check is in the mail, I trust him (unlike this example from Suture Express). I believe that he trusts me, too, but he gets in his own way. He likes to be in control, and he likes to prescribe specific marketing tasks. That is fine, because if he has less than optimal results, it is ultimately not my fault. On the other hand, it kind of makes me feel a bit dirty and icky to just do what he says when I know he is making a mistake.

The troubling part is that when I explain why he should be doing something differently, the train gets derailed. It is not really because he does not have faith in me. As I said, he has been to my home, and he has witnessed first-hand that I am more than just a little bit successful in my field. What I have determined is that he has a hard time putting faith in his own plan … because he doesn’t really have a plan. He just knows he wants to make more money, but he refuses to take a strategic approach, regardless how sincerely or logically I urge him to do so.

In our recent discussions, he has explained that he wishes to market a product that he believes in very much. The product is in one of the most competitive industries in the world, and includes a line of very exclusive products with a specific market that is typically affluent. I asked him the common questions, and he does not yet have all the answers. What he could tell me is that he wants to hit the market at full strength. In his own words, he wants to put 100 percent into the marketing effort. When I told him that he had better prepare to mortgage his oceanfront home, his boat, and his first-born son, he probably thought I was joking.

Let me insert a bit of fact so that you can really understand this. My customer recently experienced a common fate as his employer of 20 years sold off his division to an overseas company and he became jobless. Because of his age and his specialized experience, he decided to avoid the underwhelming job market and take a new focus. He has chosen to sell a line of products that he and his wife’s other company has had some success with.

My friend and customer is an accountant by trade. In fact, he is a damn good one, who has been charged with accounting for a whole lot of millions of dollars by a sizable corporation. He has his Master’s degree in accounting and I believe he has done a great job with it. He is not a marketing professional.

His idea of putting “100 percent” into the new business venture was still expected to be manageable with a budget of under $10,000. Ten thousand dollars?! Can you even imagine that? His goal is to replace his full-time income of a senior accountant of 20 years with an investment of less than a month’s income. If that level of investment success was possible, don’t you think McDonald’s, Wal Mart, Microsoft, and Google would have already cornered that market?

So, in order to try and keep his perception of risk low, I introduced the idea of a partnership of sorts, whereby I would provide marketing on a contingency basis. I would not have done that if I didn’t have a degree of faith in his idea, and trust for him as a businessman. I also normally do not provide such a service with woefully under-capitalized companies, or those which are unwilling to listen and take good advice from an experienced consultant.

What I realized, as I considered this a little closer is that such a partnership is really not a good idea for me, simply because of his unwillingness to understand the importance of marketing. After all, the emphasis of his new company is nearly entirely based on marketing. Instead, I will offer him the opportunity to prescribe a set of tasks, pay me as a customer, and tell me how he wants to handle his marketing.

The way it turns out, he mostly believes that the emphasis will be in the production of a really great website and some social media exposure, but gives little thought of what else it takes, and what else I know. He wants me to produce his ecommerce website development, initial search engine optimization efforts, and set up a social media presence. The four-digit budget will be exhausted long before I can complete these tasks at an optimal level, but since he is a great guy and existing customer, I will stretch my work out beyond his spending cap. I will do a an exceptional job for him, and I will not let him down.

My customer’s chosen direction will leave no room for strategy development, data acquisition, customer modeling, industry market research and forecasting, or the many other things which need to be done to create a successful market penetration. However, it will provide a sense of control and security for my customer. He will fall far short of what he could achieve if he actually could bring himself to put forth a 10 percent effort, but I cannot tell somebody how to run their business. My job is to tell them how they could run their business, what they could achieve, and help direct them there. As for the 100 percent effort he talked about … he has no concept of what a 100 percent effort looks like in a competitive market. He has only seen that in movies.

Summary: You Cannot Save Your Way to Prosperity

If you approach your market like the customer I have described, you will miss a lot of potential. In fact, it is a good recipe for failure. A reality of marketing that is difficult for many people to grasp is that you cannot save enough money to become prosperous in business. To become prosperous, you have to invest it, and do so with good direction and dedication.

I like the way Thomas Jefferson put it with the inspiring quote as follows:

“The man who stops advertising to save money is like the man who stops the clock to save time.”

–Thomas Jefferson

Don’t just take it from me, look at your own company. If you are investing wisely in your business, you know that I am right. On the other hand, if you are trying to save money in order to keep your cost low, your profit is undoubtedly much lower than it could be, too.

I shared my description of what I call a client versus a customer. The question that I really hope you can answer for yourself is which makes more sense in your business. Would you rather be a client or a customer?

Other Related Articles: I believe that a lot of shortsightedness comes from fear of loss overcoming hope for gain. The fear of loss is often due to the cost of doing things right, versus just doing things. Here are some related articles you will appreciate if you liked this topic.