Get ready to feel defensive, because I am going to tell you what you are doing wrong. I am going to share seven (of many) things that suck about your marketing efforts. These are things that you are doing wrong, or not doing at all which suck so bad it is like a vacuum cleaner pulling money right out of your pocket. I am not telling you how terrible you are at your marketing just so you can pout about it and leave nasty comments on my blog. I am telling you this so you can stop going broke and making bad excuses for your failures. Note that I am also not telling you this to sell you a solution, because if you are screwing these things up, you are probably not in my target audience. I get paid for my work, and if you are screwing up this badly, you cannot afford me.
Got it? OK then, pick up your bottom lip and stop drooling on yourself about all the money you are going to earn with this new information. I am not giving you the keys to the kingdom. I am just going to try and help your marketing to suck less. So let’s stop sucking and start fixing some of your marketing screw-ups.
On with the list! Here are seven reasons your marketing sucks. These are not in order of importance or suckness. They all suck, and I will bet a photo of my middle finger that you are doing at least a couple of these.
Reason One That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Measurement
It is really easy for people to just keep tossing out their name and trying different ways to increase their business, but if your results are not measurable and accounted for, your marketing sucks. What good is it to gain more business and not know precisely why, and how to repeat it? I see this a lot, and it is a novice mistake that you make because you do not understand the value of good marketing. Without useful measurement, you never will.
Reason Two That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Plan
When you do not have a plan, it is hard to have proper measurement. Many would-be great marketing efforts fail by lack of a sustainable plan. A plan includes research, goals, measurement, budget, and good old fashioned hard work. If you are opposed to work, you really should avoid marketing what you offer anyway.
Reason Three That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Budget
A measurable plan will still suck if there is no budget. People tell me all the time that they do not have a marketing budget. Seriously? No marketing budget? How can you be in business and not have a budget set aside for marketing? A marketing budget should be based on known factors surrounding your market and it uses logic-based, mathematically provable facts. This is not mythical, this is the real world. If you don’t have a marketing budget, your marketing sucks … and it sucks really bad.
Reason Four That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Goals
A goal does not need to be 120 pages of unsustainable crap. It should be easy to understand and it should be achievable. It should be based on real information, and not on hype, fear, or other subjective junk your mind will throw at you. Goals should be meaningful. Just think about this: If some thug comes to pick up your daughter for a date, do you look at him differently if he lacks goals? Set some purposeful and researched goals so that your marketing can begin to suck less.
Reason Five That Your Marketing Sucks: Selling Product
You are trying to sell a product or service rather than address the reasons somebody would want your product or service. If you want to sell a car, you are not selling four wheels and a bunch of metal. You are selling freedom to roam, fun road trips, family safety, peace of mind, personal status, comfort, pride, dealership reputation, brand reputation, and other things. If you are selling the car without understanding the reasons people will benefit from buying your car, your marketing is wasted … and it sucks.
Reason Six That Your Marketing Sucks: Price-Selling
We all heard about this recession, right? It is not a secret anymore, but if you are marketing based on cost over value, your marketing sucks. There will always be somebody willing to sell it for less and bastardize your market. When you join them, there is little chance you will ever beat them. Raving fans and brand advocates are not created by price tags. Look at Apple Computers as an example of not selling based on price alone. They may not rule the personal computer market, but they rule their market.
Reason Seven That Your Marketing Sucks: Zombie Marketing
Zombie herding is a thing of the past, but yet you still try this against all odds. When you think that simply finding a bunch of people to pitch your goods to is marketing, your marketing sucks. You try to reach out with your message as far and wide as possible, but then forget the importance of all those active and vibrant living human beings who will spread the message for you if you just stop treating them like zombies. Tweeting and Facebooking your latest special is easy. Any mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, drooling and babbling fool can do that … and they are! Pull yourself together and be memorable. Your customers are real people with real brains. Stop treating them like zombies.
I see this all day long on the Internet. People tend to forget that the intent is to reach real live people, and not just some fuzzy demographic.
Summary of Marketing That Sucks
There I go again, giving away what I know. I keep saying I will stop doing that, because when you know everything I know, I am out of a job. The good news is that if everybody who comes to me for marketing had this much sucking in their market, I would not want to do my job anyway. Knuckleheads be gone! Come back when you begin to suck less and want to do more business.
Bonus Reason Your Marketing Sucks: You have no backbone and you are trying to please too many people. Build a brand and stand strong to the brand. If you are afraid that somebody will not like your brand, let me burst that bubble for you early. Some people will hate you. They will hate everything you stand for and everything you do. If you are too afraid to polarize your audience, give up now. Being famous often requires having the guts to be infamous.
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