The Biggest Fallacy of Social Media: More is Better

Social Media Fallacy Unicorn
Social Media Fallacy Unicorn


I want to discuss the biggest fallacy of social media for a moment. It surrounds a tightly held misconception that many people will refuse to let go of, because somebody with perceived authority told them it is “how social media is done.”

It is made worse every day because of all the people who have the mentality that “if they are doing it, it must be OK.”

People often want examples to follow. It makes them more comfortable with their decisions. Sometimes it turns out just great, but it often leads to a whole lot of “imitation marketing” with horrible results. Didn’t your dad ever use the line about your friends and a cliff with you?

“If they were all jumping off a cliff without parachutes, would you just follow along with them?”
–Dad

Enough of the crescendo, let me explain this famously popular trap that has become the biggest fallacy of social media. Did somebody tell you that you need whole bunch of people to “follow” you, “like” you, and “friend” you? The odds are great that the person saying that is full of crap about other things, too.

The truth about the biggest social media successes, and in fact, the way that things actually become “viral” is quite the opposite from what it seems. It does not happen because of a huge number of followers, friends, and fans. Success happens because of thinking, creating, and doing something amazing enough that your dearest core group of true listeners, who care what you have to say, share it with emphasis. Before you even consider anything else, it is important to concentrate on the “amazing” part.

Who are those “core listeners” I am referring to? They are the people who like what you have to say, enough that they subscribe to your blog, follow you on Twitter, Like your Facebook page, and link with you on LinkedIn. They pay attention because they want to know what you have to share, and not because they just want you to add to their numbers. They are often great people to have as your friends, too!

This topic was inspired by a discussion on Mark Harai’s blog, in an article titled “How to Build Online Influence“. My comment there was as follows:

“It is absolutely true about the numbers. I have enough “followers” in some circles to properly seed a new landfill. Without bilateral communication, that is where those relationships are.

I even wrote a book that gave strong caution to the big numbers game of social media. People really want so badly to believe in big numbers, unless they have big numbers, and then they understand.

The mentality is not so unlike like desire for wealth. Many people want it badly but they use it unwisely if they get it.”

What most people do is called “conventional”. Convention is lazy, and conventional will not make you stand out! It is why “The Pareto Principle“, also known as the 80/20 rule, always holds true.

No, I am not that guy who will tell you that successful marketing is only about building relationships to make your social media marketing successful. It takes a lot of other things, too. If you want my “short list” of things that make social media marketing successful, go to my blog archive. The list includes 267 (often lengthy) topics I have written about. Not a single one of them says to get more followers, but many of them certainly do address the importance of relationship building.

Social Media’s Hardest Lesson to Learn

I have argued against the mentality that more followers is the key, but it seems that as with most other things, people just have to learn it for themselves. They learn it the hard way, just like people dying to win a lottery who are broke a year after they collect their squillion dollar jackpot.

If you just can’t stand it, and you need proof that I am right about this, let me show you some numbers: 24 28 45 49 52 2

Those are your Murnahan lottery picks for this week. That will be easier for a lot of people to understand and accept than what I would say about the horribly over-valued hype about big follower numbers. By the way, this is last week’s winning Powerball Lottery numbers. Maybe they will “hit” again, you never know!

If you really want to know what I think, I offer you these previous articles which address the matter.

Social Media is Not Just Who You Know … It’s Who They Know!

I urge people to remember that social media is not just about you, and who you know, or who follows you. I know very well that I can bore the heck out of some people with things they have no interest in. I also know which people will find value in things which I produce, and I know which ones may be a good match to connect with other people in my circle of friends and “core listeners”. My friends and “core listeners” know these things about me, too. It is called networking, and it trumps all that you may hear about having a massive number of followers.

All it really takes to make something extremely popular is about 150 people who are connected to you the way I have described. Ironically, and conveniently, 150 is also the number that is commonly referenced as Dunbar’s Number. If you can focus on those people, the rest comes down to simply having brilliance, and you probably have a lot more than you are using.

Social Media Backlash of Extended Reach

Social media is a funny thing. Most people can figure out the basics of how to use social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blogs, and the squillion others. A few can figure out how to use social media well, and enhance their business. A tiny fraction of those people will use social media in a way that does not irritate or offend somebody, somewhere, for some reason.

Yes, social media popularity has its drawbacks, and there will always be some people who hate you, just for breathing. I have often said that if I don’t get a death threat now and then, I must not be reaching enough people. Even the littlest things can set some people off, but it is not my job to make everybody happy. I just want to make a few of the right people happy. Would you believe I actually had a death threat come as a result of this humorous article titled “Hookers Write the Best Blogs“?

You don’t need “death threat” levels of popularity to get all that you want and need from social media … nobody does. You just have to concentrate on your core listeners, and the awesomeness you can create for and with them. Let the rest of it come into place naturally and those followers will come to your awesomeness like a Murnahan to a plate of bacon.

Photo credit to scorpio58 via Flickr

How to Make a Blog Popular: Consider Your Intent!

What is Your Intent?
What is Your Intent?


I read a lot of blogs, and I gather a lot of great ideas from them. There is a lot of amazing talent out there on the Internet, sitting at their computer every day to blog about what they know, what they think, what they do, and what they sell. A few of those squillion blogs will become popular with readers, but how?

It is easy for me to answer why I read the blogs I read. They help me to keep my thinking sharp with new ideas. My brain needs a lot of daily exercise to keep up with my industry.

It seems easy to define why the popular blogs I read are successful at their mission, but harder when I turn it around and look at my own work. I hope you can relate to this. I find that it is always harder to scrutinize myself than to scrutinize others.

I have been a bit blessed with having a solid readership for my SEO and social media marketing blog. I appreciate that very much, because I work hard at it. Once in a while, I have to consider “What makes it popular, and why do people subscribe and come back?” Then, on a bad day, I find myself questioning “Why do I keep doing this?” That is when I have to go and re-read “10 Really Good Reasons to Blog” and I am back at it again, quick.

Today is a good day, so I am asking myself the earlier question. Is it because I am in a popular industry? No, because there are a lot of SEO and social media marketing blogs with just three readers (spouse, mother, and author). Is it because I take my shirt off to blog because the ladies like that? No, although it may not hurt, because I am yummy like bacon (I should post more pictures). Is it because I have a squillion friends who love me? No, I am generally a nice guy, but I don’t try to please everybody, and I piss a few people off, too (like this Bhashkar guy). Is it because I throw down a clever line here and there to be entertaining? No, because I will never be as funny as this cat video with 47 Million views (damn them cats).

When I begin to think about things which make a blog popular, it seems that my thoughts keep leading me back to “intent”. Good blogging tools, a lot of coffee, and just a slight touch of insanity can help, but it is not enough!

I know, I know … people say that “content is king”, or that “engagement” and “social equity” are important. Sure, we can throw a whole lot of silly buzz phrases on the table to sort through. It really does take a lot of things coming together just right to produce something that people want.

I think that in the end, even if you get every other piece right, but your intent is flawed, it is as fragile as a house of cards.

What is Your Blog’s Intent?

Let’s define this: Clearly, if you have a blog, you have an intent. Whether is just to pour your mind out to the Internet, or to bring more brand recognition to a product or service, nobody does this without something that drives them to do it.

I will share my intent with you, and I hope it will help you start thinking about yours. So, let’s see, why do I write this blog?

The focus of this blog is to help educate people about things which can help them. I like to help people think and create their own ideas. I like to teach people about things which they may find useful. I also like to dispel the many SEO lies which are common in the industry.

When I say that intent is important, here is how I look at it: If my intent was centered around selling something rather than educating and helping people, the direction would be totally different. The intent would show through, and the value to others would be far less.

Stop Seeing “Everybody” as a Potential Customer!

I hope that sharing my intent will help you think about yours, and your strategy. Here I go, trying to be helpful, again. Now, you may wonder “How is there any room left for a strategy, and how can a blog possibly be worth all of the headache?”

When I think about my intent, it is what I wish to provide for others. That does not have to mean there is no benefit in it for me, but when I focus on these things which benefit others, my work is far better and it makes me a swell guy.

The good news is that I don’t view you as my potential customer. Sure, maybe you are, but probably not. Most people that land on any blog are not there to buy stuff. In the case of company blogs, the smart companies already know this.

Pssst: Let me whisper a thought in your ear:

People know other people, and they communicate with them … a lot. If people like what you do, and they think highly of you, they will do the heavy lifting for you. They will share your blog with friends, and maybe those friends will share it with other friends. All of the sudden, you have your hands on something valuable. Somewhere down the line, there is probably a customer in it for you, and you didn’t even have to be pushy … just useful.

Keep Your Intent Dear to You

It can be easy to wander off the path of your intent, but don’t! Always remember the overall purpose of being useful, and know that it really will make the difference in reaching longer term objectives. If you have a very purposeful intent, it will be easier to stay on track.

My blog’s intent is sincerely focused on being helpful. I go out of my way to do that. As a benefit, it enhances my resume as a SEO and social media marketing professional and reflects my knowledge. A tiny percentage of people will contact me with an interest of hiring me as a consultant, or as their new Director of Marketing.

I ask myself: “What if somebody offers me a salary so big I can barely spend it all and puts me in a big shiny office building as their head marketing guy working 100 hours per week?”

My answer is: “I will still be right here to share what I know with others, just as I have been for years.”

That is how I know that my intent is right.

If selling something was the primary goal, I would not ask for your input, your brainstorms, or your time. I would also not expect anybody to subscribe and keep coming back. Although, I probably would still ask to pass my name along to somebody who may need me … but that is just my eensy little selfish side talking. (Hint: See sharing and bookmarking links below.) Hey, I have a family of five to feed, after all.

What is your intent, and how are you expressing it to others?

Cat Photo Credit to lincolnlog via Flickr

Social Media and The Absurdity of Implied Reciprocity

Want Your Back Scratched? Think First!
Want Your Back Scratched? Think First!


If you are one of those people who expect social media favors because somebody owes you something, just stop it! If you like something and find value in it, share it with others or do whatever it is that you do with good information. Just don’t assume that it means people owe you anything.

In business, and in life, reciprocity is a wonderful thing. It feels good to do business with people who do business with you, right? You have probably heard the old saying, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

A problem with reciprocity comes when people start doing things they would normally not do, only in hopes of demanding favors in return. It is nice to reciprocate, but this does not mean it is implied.

I received a message on LinkedIn yesterday that read as follows: “Hi. I liked ur PAGE through LINKEDIN GROUP. Expecting ur LIKE and SUPPORT.” I thought to myself, “Really? You liked my page in order to add to my number of people artificially interested in my work and you want me to do the same? Oh, and ‘SUPPORT?’ Does this mean you want me to feed your kids, too?” I guess I just didn’t see that as any kind of favor.

If you like what I do, and you think you could learn something from a guy with over 20 years of successful marketing experience, by all means, “Like” my Facebook page. If you think you have done me some great favor and I am going to do you a favor by liking your Facebook page which has absolutely no interest to me, you need me worse than you think!

Why would you have any desire whatsoever to have me “Like” your Facebook page if I will never, ever, be a customer or recommend you to anybody because you are a a demanding douchebag who expects something from me?

If You Like Me, Just Like Me, But Stop Expecting Favors!
If You Like Me, Just Like Me, But Stop Expecting Favors!

Rather than to rewrite the whole thing, I want to share something I said in a previous article titled “Do You Tweet and Retweet Seeking Favors?” Here is the closely paraphrased version:

People in the social media field often build relationships in which they will work together to spread a message. As long as there is honesty and integrity in the message, I am generally happy to help. However, I have been hit over the head with some of this recently. It seems that I get a lot of requests to scratch somebody’s back. It is all fine and good to be reciprocal, but is it good to take away the human filter that makes us who we are?

If all I was doing was tweeting, retweeting, blogging, Facebooking, YouTubing, Digging, Stumbling, and etcetera, because I hoped people would return the favor, would people still care what I had to say? I do not imagine the answer is “yes”.

Reciprocity Has Its Place

Don’t get me wrong, reciprocity certainly has its place, but if you are doing things with expectations of others doing things for you in return, don’t you at least think it should be something meaningful or useful?

The only time I recall actually being a little hacked by lack of reciprocity was from a car dealer. Hell, I purchased three brand new Corvettes and a Cadillac Escalade (total cost over $240,000) from this guy in under a year’s time, and I sent him many new customers. When he went to somebody else for his web hosting because it was cheaper than my recommended $209 per year plan, I kind of thought that was a bad business decision. Then when he asked me about a new website and used my website proposal to shop around, I wanted to kick him in the nuts. Yeah, I kind of felt slapped in the face, but I will still buy a car from him based on the merits of his business … not mine!

I Did Not Buy These Just to Sell a Website!
I Did Not Buy These Just to Sell a Website!

In summary, don’t “Like” my Facebook, subscribe to my blog, follow me on Twitter, link to this page, kiss my butt with kind comments in my blog, or anything else of the sort if it is only because you want something. Do it because you know I am not full of crap and because you receive value from my hard work.

I may reciprocate, but not because I feel guilty if I don’t.

I have just one more thought for you, and it is what my wife said when I mentioned this subject to her. Here is another way to look at it, and a brilliantly performed song.

Note that since I wrote this, I have replaced the Bonnie Raitt version of the song. Apparently she stopped allowing her YouTube videos to be embedded in web pages. this guy performs it nicely, too!

I Can’t Make You Love Me

Dog Photo Credit to wsilver via Flickr

Anybody Will Sell You Stuff: Some Will Ask “What About You?”

Listening Builds Friendships ... and Companies!
Listening Builds Friendships
... and Companies!


Let’s consider a trait that we can each benefit from, and most of us should work harder to achieve. I will tell it in personal terms, and then explain how it applies to marketing a business.

I am sure you must know somebody who makes you feel comfortable to talk with about anything you want to talk about. When I find myself encountering this rare-as-a-unicorn person who just wants to know about me, and the things I want, it almost feels awkward at first, but in a uniquely good way.

I am talking about those people who listen attentively and do more than just nod their head and yawn as you ramble, while waiting to assert their agenda. I mean the kind who draw you in and make you feel totally comfortable to want what you want, think what you think, and be who you are. You tell them things, because they actually show their interest in you.

When you encounter this type of person, it is easy to feel that their story has got to be a great one. Their expressed interest in you has made them more interesting, and it makes you want to know them better, and to hear their side. Suddenly, there is a desire to switch things around and make the conversation more about them, what they want, what they think, and how you can be a better friend to them.

I hope that you have had the privilege to know somebody like I have described here. If so, you are probably nodding and smiling as you think of the way it makes you feel about them. It may even make you want to ring them on the phone to catch up on things since you last spoke.

Applying Listening to Marketing a Brand

Think about how you feel in a scenario where a person really cares what you have to say. I don’t mean the kind who fake it, but rather the kind where you can sense a sincere interest in you. Don’t you want to be more like them?

Have you ever encountered this feeling that you are talking too much and listening too little? All of the sudden you feel a little bit like a conversation hog, but it is so hard to change. When you want more business, you have to talk more, and it becomes hard to remember those listening skills.

This “listening person” we all enjoy is often there, in the back of our mind, but they are very hard to emulate. What I described is a common dynamic of any relationship, but the special ones we think so kindly about are simply better at it than we are.

In business, we each have our agenda, and our sets of rules for what we think is the best outcome for our own interests. We plan things in ways that we will get what we want out of the relationship, and deviating from that plan is a threat. It is simply against the rules.

In marketing, it is very popular to be the one doing all the talking, and nod and yawn while customers try to tell us what they want. I see extreme selfishness every day in marketing. I see it most profoundly online, because it is easy for companies to scream louder when they think that nobody is listening.

It is important to notice when our set of rules and a selfish mindset diminishes our potential. This is a common outcome when we forget to listen and be that person who becomes more interesting simply by being genuinely interested.

Consider for just a moment the instances when it may be best to approach business as a bit more of an interested introvert, and less of an interesting extrovert. It may create a chance to reset your objectives and become a better “friend” to your customers. The outcome will often be that you will become more interesting, and others will think kindly and smile when they think of your business. The good news is that this truly is scalable to any size of brand!

Are you taking enough time to ask people “What about you?” I guess we could call compassion and listening matters of “growing up” or “wisdom”, but I believe that we can each do more to cultivate our listening and caring skills.

How can you better address the importance of listening to what people want? Will you do the necessary research? Will you take that extra time to slow down and get to know what people want and expect of you?

What do you have to say about this? I welcome your comments, and I want to know “What about you?”

Why Disqus May Be The Best Social Network of 2011

Let's Disqus This Network
Let's Disqus This Network


Even if you are the least tech-savvy person since my mother, it is clear that you will see this company popping up in more places during 2011. The name, “Disqus” (pronounced as discuss) is spread far and wide across the Internet, and its exposure is growing quickly as top tech and news blogs implement the service.

In November 2010 TechCrunch reported that there were over 500,000 communities using Disqus for more than 160 million conversations between 18 million profiles. According to Quantcast, Disqus is moving up quickly. Maybe you are not so sure about its importance just yet, but I am, and I want to share why Disqus is quickly climbing my list of favorite social networking tools.

I named Disqus a while back in an article titled “6 Essential Blogging Tools for Bloggers and Non-Bloggers” and that is certainly worth a read. Since the time I wrote that back in March 2010, my opinion of Disqus is better than ever.

The idea of using Disqus as a networking tool may sound completely off the wall to the many people who never heard of Disqus or took the time to understand its greater value. Likewise, sending a bunch of Twitter updates sounded pretty absurd in 2007, but we all watched how Twitter took off. I suppose I don’t need to say much about Facebook. The 650 million Facebook users pretty well sum up the public interest in that platform. So, how can Disqus be placed in the company of these massively adopted networks? I will explain, and I think you will have a much different view of the service by the time I am done.

Something many people may overlook about Disqus is how seamlessly it pulls together a broad picture of a user’s interests, and how well it can connect people.

Disqus will not become the next Facebook, threaten Twitter, or replace LinkedIn. What Disqus can do is to tighten people’s existing networks and create many opportunities for new and stronger network connections.

In the face of social networking becoming “looser” than ever for a lot of people, tighter networks of like-minded people are not only important, but something many Internet users are begging for. Disqus delivers on this need, in a big way, for people who choose to use it.

Let’s take an under-the hood look at Disqus for a moment. A lot of people may simply see Disqus as the commenting system on some of their favorite blogs, but completely overlook its best assets. First, let me explain what Disqus is, on the surface, for people who are unfamiliar. Then I will move on to the reason that Disqus is useful for networking, far beyond just its value to blog administrators.

What is Disqus?

Disqus is a service that is used by many blogs for moderating and responding to readers’ comments. It allows users to comment on blogs the “old fashioned” way, by entering their name, email, website address, and comment, or they can choose to use their photo and information based on a variety of other profiles, such as Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, OpenID, or simply their Disqus profile.

Optionally, readers can choose to share their comment, on a comment-by-comment basis, with their extended network. This is good for readers to share their point of view, and also good for bloggers who enjoy their work being shared. It is a win-win relationship.

Disqus provides for real-time updating of comments. In an active discussion, this allows readers to see new comments without even refreshing the page.

Disqus also provides options for users to receive updates of replies to their comments by email, or simply within their “Disqus Dashboard” where there is a section titled “Replies to you”. It makes blog commenting more interactive than ever, and opens a lot of possibilities for people willing to look three inches beyond their nose. It is a lot easier than other methods of subscribing to follow a thread, and much tidier for monitoring replies.

Disqus Dashboard is Easy and Searchable
Disqus Dashboard is Easy and Searchable

Disqus Creates Deeper Conversations!

Maybe you have hoped that posting a link on Twitter or Facebook to an article that you read will give people a feel for what you like, what interests you, and what you read. The trouble with this is when it leaves them hanging without knowing what you thought of it. Believe me when I say that most people are not going to dig through the comments to see what you said about something. Most of the time, they will not even click to see the article, but rather draw conclusions and comment on the title.

Maybe you can add in a little bit of flair with your commentary, but then the conversation is all broken up between the article, the shortness of a Twitter post, and your Facebook comments versus the comments of the other people who read the blog. That all tends to create a lot of off-topic discussion, and dilutes what you and others had to say about the topic.

On the other hand, if somebody sees it in your Disqus profile and follows what you read and have to say on a topic, the whole character starts to change. Disqus makes it very easy to follow other people. It is a chance for others to be more involved in your conversations around the web. If they like communicating with you, it can give a good feel for who you are and your points of view. It can also help you to gain a closer relationship with the people you choose to interact with. For example, if you happen to come across my political views, you may find that I am feisty but fair. If you come across my business views, you may find that I read carefully, think a whole lot, and try to bring a my ideas to the discussion.

It is noteworthy that commenting on a blog article reflects a greater commitment than most other social networking quips and snippets that people leave behind. Blog comments are commonly lengthier and more thought out about a specific topic than comments elsewhere. It really does generally allow for a closer sense of a person’s views on a topic. I invite you to see an example of this in my Disqus profile. If you click on “Activity” at the top, you can scroll through and see comments I have made here and on other blogs.

Turn Any Website Into a Blog

I can point out a lot of reasons that Disqus is growing quickly, and this is certainly a big one. Disqus makes it simple to add commenting to any existing website. With their simple “Universal Code” Disqus commenting system can be added to any web page.

Let’s say you have a boring old static website and you want to add commenting to a page, or a set of pages. There is more to a blog than the commenting features, but many people would consider comments the most obvious feature of blogs. Disqus makes it simple to add their commenting system to any boring old website, and has excellent code and documentation for many popular platforms. They have made it extremely easy, even for a relatively novice web developer.

Disqus Security Considerations

You can certainly post on blogs using Disqus with an alias, or anonymously, but the things you have to say are the things which interest people. It is really not much fun to have people like you for one reason, but then find out they think you are horrible when they dig a bit deeper. If you posted it anywhere on a blog and somebody wants to find it, they will find it. This is the Internet, and most bloggers do their best to be sure a lot of people will see it. I think of this in a way similar to my article titled “Facebook Privacy Fears Are Absurd!“. Living in the fear of your own shadow is something that will be there with or without Disqus.

I guess this realistic view of the Internet and social media is why “social media transparency” has become such an overused buzzphrase.

Disqus and SEO

I know that a lot of people wonder about how Disqus affects search engine results, whether as a blog administrator, or as a commenter. I would stop at simply pointing out that I use it here on my SEO and Social Media Marketing blog, but that may not be enough to comfort you.

Many people who comment on blogs really love those links to their website they leave behind. After all, more links is a good thing. Disqus still allows you to leave your link, and it is still as valuable from an SEO standpoint as any other commenting system … perhaps even better. I may write about this at a later time, but I can tell you that the comments are well-indexed in search engines, and the links associated with those comments are also just as valuable as any other commenting system.

What I think sometimes confuses people about Disqus links is in the layout for non-logged-in “Guest” users. Disqus simply shows a “post as” link, but once you type your comment, you have the opportunity to add your website link and your Gravitar.

Disqus creates multiple links. If you click on the thumbnail picture of a user, it will show you their Disqus profile information, including their other communities and even their most recent Twitter update, if they associated their Twitter account. If you click on their name, it will link directly to their website of choice. If they have associated their Twitter account with their Disqus profile and you click to share your comment on Twitter, it will also send a reply to their Twitter username.

Disqus Signup and Other Links

If you made it this far, you are probably pretty curious to look a bit closer at Disqus. Here are some links to get your started.

I could keep writing all day to help you understand the ways to get the most from Disqus. There are a lot of excellent potential uses. For example, you can search with an email address to see what a person is saying on other blogs … did you know that? I wrote a 140 page book about Twitter, but I don’t plan to repeat that with Disqus. Instead, I will share what they say in their own words, invite you to discuss this, and happily answer your questions and comments. Here is what Disqus has to say:

What is Disqus?

Disqus (dis·cuss • dï-sküs’) is all about changing the way people think about discussion on the web. We’re big believers in the conversations and communities that form on blogs and other sites.

Now what do you have to say? Here is your chance to use Disqus and jump in the conversation. Please add your comments and don’t be shy. Another great feature of Disqus is that if you screw it up, you can go back and edit the comment.