August 2010 by Mark Murnahan

7 Reasons Your Marketing Sucks

Get ready to feel defensive, because I am going to tell you what you are doing wrong. I am going to share seven (of many) things that suck about your marketing efforts. These are things that you are doing wrong, or not doing at all which suck so bad it is like a vacuum cleaner pulling money right out of your pocket. I am not telling you how terrible you are at your marketing just so you can pout about it and leave nasty comments on my blog. I am telling you this so you can stop going broke and making bad excuses for your failures. Note that I am also not telling you this to sell you a solution, because if you are screwing these things up, you are probably not in my target audience. I get paid for my work, and if you are screwing up this badly, you cannot afford me.

Got it? OK then, pick up your bottom lip and stop drooling on yourself about all the money you are going to earn with this new information. I am not giving you the keys to the kingdom. I am just going to try and help your marketing to suck less. So let’s stop sucking and start fixing some of your marketing screw-ups.

In case you wondered: Do I really have to be so abrasive? Not really, but unless I slap you around a little and let you know how much terrible marketing really sickens me, you may not get the point as clearly as I intend it. Maybe it will help you to realize that this is not just another ploy to dig my hands into your pockets. Besides those points, who wants to read another dull blog post about how to perform better marketing? I think the Internet already has plenty of that. Heck, have you seen my archive? Yeah, you didn’t pay close enough attention or your marketing would probably not suck this badly.

On with the list! Here are seven reasons your marketing sucks. These are not in order of importance or suckness. They all suck, and I will bet a photo of my middle finger that you are doing at least a couple of these.

Reason One That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Measurement

It is really easy for people to just keep tossing out their name and trying different ways to increase their business, but if your results are not measurable and accounted for, your marketing sucks. What good is it to gain more business and not know precisely why, and how to repeat it? I see this a lot, and it is a novice mistake that you make because you do not understand the value of good marketing. Without useful measurement, you never will.

Reason Two That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Plan

When you do not have a plan, it is hard to have proper measurement. Many would-be great marketing efforts fail by lack of a sustainable plan. A plan includes research, goals, measurement, budget, and good old fashioned hard work. If you are opposed to work, you really should avoid marketing what you offer anyway.

Reason Three That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Budget

A measurable plan will still suck if there is no budget. People tell me all the time that they do not have a marketing budget. Seriously? No marketing budget? How can you be in business and not have a budget set aside for marketing? A marketing budget should be based on known factors surrounding your market and it uses logic-based, mathematically provable facts. This is not mythical, this is the real world. If you don’t have a marketing budget, your marketing sucks … and it sucks really bad.

Reason Four That Your Marketing Sucks: Lack of Goals

A goal does not need to be 120 pages of unsustainable crap. It should be easy to understand and it should be achievable. It should be based on real information, and not on hype, fear, or other subjective junk your mind will throw at you. Goals should be meaningful. Just think about this: If some thug comes to pick up your daughter for a date, do you look at him differently if he lacks goals? Set some purposeful and researched goals so that your marketing can begin to suck less.

Reason Five That Your Marketing Sucks: Selling Product

You are trying to sell a product or service rather than address the reasons somebody would want your product or service. If you want to sell a car, you are not selling four wheels and a bunch of metal. You are selling freedom to roam, fun road trips, family safety, peace of mind, personal status, comfort, pride, dealership reputation, brand reputation, and other things. If you are selling the car without understanding the reasons people will benefit from buying your car, your marketing is wasted … and it sucks.

Reason Six That Your Marketing Sucks: Price-Selling

We all heard about this recession, right? It is not a secret anymore, but if you are marketing based on cost over value, your marketing sucks. There will always be somebody willing to sell it for less and bastardize your market. When you join them, there is little chance you will ever beat them. Raving fans and brand advocates are not created by price tags. Look at Apple Computers as an example of not selling based on price alone. They may not rule the personal computer market, but they rule their market.

Reason Seven That Your Marketing Sucks: Zombie Marketing

Zombie herding is a thing of the past, but yet you still try this against all odds. When you think that simply finding a bunch of people to pitch your goods to is marketing, your marketing sucks. You try to reach out with your message as far and wide as possible, but then forget the importance of all those active and vibrant living human beings who will spread the message for you if you just stop treating them like zombies. Tweeting and Facebooking your latest special is easy. Any mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, drooling and babbling fool can do that … and they are! Pull yourself together and be memorable. Your customers are real people with real brains. Stop treating them like zombies.

I see this all day long on the Internet. People tend to forget that the intent is to reach real live people, and not just some fuzzy demographic.

Summary of Marketing That Sucks

There I go again, giving away what I know. I keep saying I will stop doing that, because when you know everything I know, I am out of a job. The good news is that if everybody who comes to me for marketing had this much sucking in their market, I would not want to do my job anyway. Knuckleheads be gone! Come back when you begin to suck less and want to do more business.

Bonus Reason Your Marketing Sucks: You have no backbone and you are trying to please too many people. Build a brand and stand strong to the brand. If you are afraid that somebody will not like your brand, let me burst that bubble for you early. Some people will hate you. They will hate everything you stand for and everything you do. If you are too afraid to polarize your audience, give up now. Being famous often requires having the guts to be infamous.

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How To Sell Paper Clips: A Closer Look at Marketing

Think about paper clips for a moment. They are about the most basic thing you will find in your desk drawer. When you consider your marketing, try to imagine selling paper clips. You probably do not think much about what brand you are buying when you need to replenish your paper clip supply. This is likely true of your product or service, too. Unless people have a good reason to remember you, it will be a lot harder to grow your paper clip market share and to become more prosperous.

If you challenged multiple companies with a truckload of paper clips to sell, somebody would sell out sooner than the rest. One would almost surely hit their stride and empty that truckload of paper clips before the others, and there must be a reason.

A basic essential of marketing is to get people to talk about you in a positive way. When other people talk about your brand, it is far more valuable than when you talk about your brand. This is proven every day, and in many markets. Just think about the ones you remember and why you remember them.

In order to emphasize the point, I have created this short video to show you how to sell more paper clips. I hope that you will enjoy it.

Addendum: After comments from Jim Rudnick at Canuck SEO (JVRudnick) both below and on social networks, I picked up the phone to call and thank him. We chatted and he told me of a remarkable story about a man who traded a paper clip for a house. If you doubt the value of good marketing and how to build value in something as simple as a paper clip, you should see the story of Tyler Wright.Thanks for sharing, Jim!

Crazy Things People Search For

People search for the craziest things online. Looking at your website statistics to see the searches people use to find your website can be an eye-opener. I discover thousands of bizarre and unexpected searches which lead people to my websites, and some of them quite useful. This can be quite entertaining, and also very beneficial for understanding people and the ways they search.

I constantly hear from people begging to be at the top of search engine results for specific terms. I often find that the things they want to rank for are about as well researched and thought out as balancing a three ton hippopotamus on a popsicle stick above your grandmother’s fine China collection. There are two problems with this: 1.) Somebody is going to get hurt. 2.) It does not work well, mathematically.

Most website owners do not have a clue about how to select the search terms to target, or even what people are already using to find their website. Even fewer know how to target useful search terms, or anything at all about the enormous value of lateral keywords which can often account for far more website traffic than the terms they desire. This is to your advantage, because now you do have a clue. You can thank me with your comments.

Reviewing the actual terms people type into a search engine to find things is truly astonishing. It is also an important way to better understand people and what they want. If you do not use tools like Google Analytics or Clicky statistics, you should.

The topic of how people search the Internet came up in conversation with a client yesterday. He pointed out a competing website which was ranking higher in search engines than his website. Of course, it was for his “hippopotamus-balancing” keyword selection which he thought must be important, because everybody else was targeting it. He got a quick schooling when I pointed out how few people were actually searching for that keyword phrase, and that according to available measurements (Compete.com, Alexa.com, Quantcast.com, Open Site Explorer and others) his website receives over 1,000 times more visitors and incoming links, and is ranked well for thousands of search terms. He kind of shut up after I showed him that, and I had my mind’s-eye vision of doing a victory dance. Then I pointed out his high conversion rate and had to take a step backward to preserve my personal space before he could slap on a big man-hug or kiss me square on the lips for all the money he is making.

Strange Ways People Search the Internet

It is easy to assume what people are searching for. It is also a huge point of failure for the majority of businesses trying to promote their product or service. I find too many people who make assumptions of the keyword phrases people will use to find them. It is important to be aware that each and every one of us use search engines differently. I find whole industries every day which blow me away with their total failure to understand and reach their market.

In an effort to make this point, I offer you these little bits of reality:

Here is a blog article I wrote a while back about cigars. I do not sell cigars, (although perhaps I should). I wrote one article about a cigar company falling short in their marketing, and then I later followed up with an article which showed the top 200 cigar-related search terms which brought people to my website from that single blog post. See “Cigar Prices Rising With Bad SEO and Social Media Marketing“.

More proof of this matter of an industry which did not grasp search engine optimization was found in the Smart Slate interactive whiteboard slate. See “Smart Slate, Smart Airliner, and Other Interactive Slates“. Because of the absurdity of this industry, I have earnestly looked into the option of entering the market just to mop the floor with the blood of fallen competitors.

Then, there is the automotive industry. I want to scream at this whole industry for the way they suck up billions in government bailouts, yet they keep trying to do business the way their grandfather sold cars. I wrote about their infamous ways of marketing and just how badly they are missing the mark. See “Topeka Kansas Car Dealer Social Media Marketing Case Study”

These examples are just a few of many thousands of markets being terribly overlooked by good marketing efforts including SEO that works. If you do not know what people are looking for, you will have a really hard time delivering what they want. It should seem obvious that when some knucklehead SEO (search engine optimizer) like me can come into an industry and take over thousands of first-page spots for search phrases and pull in the eyes of their potential customers, somebody is really missing the boat.

I suggest examining the search phrases people are already using to find your website, and reading this article on how to “Improve SEO Return on Investment (ROI) With Simple Math“.

If you don’t pay attention to what people are searching for, in reality rather than just myth, you may as well just play with a hippopotamus on a stick. Just don’t blame me if you break grandma’s China.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Infographic: Internet Marketing Challenge Solved

As a kid, I recall many times when good thinking would elude me. Those were the times when my father would say, “Do I have to draw you a picture?” Dad got pretty good at drawing when I was a kid. Now that I am a dad, I often find myself drawing pictures, too. These days, we call this kind of picture an “infographic” (informational graphic). I drew one for you, plus an alternate just in case.

Why the Infographic?

There is a constant challenge for marketers to explain the process of social media marketing and search engine optimization. The many various Internet marketing methods and tools which we use cannot be summed up in just one infographic. However, I believe that the infographic below provides an explanation of the job sufficient for most clients, while not overwhelming them with information.

OK, so here you go … Internet Marketing Challenges Solved (click for larger version):

Murnahan’s Alternate Infographic

Of course, as every marketer knows, there are all levels of cognizant thinking and some people have a harder time using their heads than others. If the infographic above does not make the point clear enough, I offer “Murnahan’s Alternate Infographic”. It is a simple red dot. Print it out and paste it on the wall. Then swing your head at it until it hurts really bad.

DISCLAIMER: Just in case you really do not have a sense of humor, please be aware that I will not be accepting any liability for the use of “Murnahan’s Alternate Infographic”. Any use of the red dot will be solely at your own risk. “Murnahan’s Alternate Infographic” may cause severe bleeding, headache, runny eyes, and an overwhelming need to scream obscenities. Results may vary. Consult your physician if you have any doubts or concerns about using this alternate infographic.

Your Recession is Yours, My Recession is Mine

I talk to a lot of people. I have some amazing friends, with amazing perspective. The wise ones are not afraid to talk about recession, and brainstorm ways to improve their respective place in this recession.

You are a bit scared, right? I hope so, because you should be. If you have just consumed a small fraction of reality over the past couple years, you have certainly noticed something different about people’s spending habits. Lines at restaurants are shorter, and lines at homeless shelters are longer. Let’s not sugar-coat it. Shit hit the fan and business is harder to come by these days.

One of my long time close friends is a well-informed Magna Cum Laude Princeton University graduate of economics with his MBA and a bunch of letters at the end of his name. He is a top-level economist and one that many other number-crunchers rely on to evaluate major business decisions. He is about as scared as it comes. Me, I lost squillions since recession started in 2007, and I got sick of being scared. Instead, I made a plan, and I continually work with my plan.

Improve the Future You’ve Got

This is not an uplifting “rah rah, go get ’em” sermon I am here to give you, but rather the cold hard truth of where things stand, and ideas to improve the future you’ve got. Ahh, but there is the key! If you note that I said “the future you’ve got” I mean that the future is something you already have. It is not some unrealistic thing that lives in some other dimension and never comes to pass. Time keeps marching on, and every day marks another day into your future. You do have a future, and if you are too freaked out about today, the future gets pretty blurry. In any case, your future will get here, and you are the one who makes all the tough decisions on how it will look.

I understand that it gets harder to envision your future when you are still fighting today. I have seen the future become blurred, too, but I have made a plan. I made a flexible plan, and one that can be amended as needed. I keep my eyes moving, and I always look in all directions. It is tricky and requires constant attention, but without a plan, results would be pretty bleak. Don’t you think?

If you feel like you are alone in the recession, stop feeling that way. Not just because I said “stop feeling that way”, but because you know it is true. You see it all around you. There are two divergent ideologies on the topic. One says the sky is falling and we are all doomed, and the other talks in ambiguous Wall Street phrases about improved economic indicators and tries to influence a stronger market by helping people feel safer to spend money. Reality is somewhere in the middle, and your economic reality will come from the actions you take.

Owning Your Recession

Let’s face it, you own your recession, and the sooner you realize it, the better. Sure, it has affected most of the people you know, but there are still people thriving in a bad economy, and I will give you some reasons why. It starts with making good decisions, having confidence in your decisions, and taking action on your decisions. That is a lot of decision making, and many people are more comfortable making the decision to “wait and see what happens” and to follow the same course. Getting ahead means getting uncomfortable, and if you are in business, you must understand that fear affects success in more than logic.

I can own up to my recession, although it is not all my doing. I still know that my decisions have everything to do with where I am and where I go from here. I will give you an example. In 2007 and 2008 I watched some huge suppliers to my company kill thousands of jobs and shut down some of their operations. One of my suppliers of network services laid off 5,000 people in a single day. I knew my industry very well, and I knew in advance that I should have sold off or severely downsized one division of my company. Instead, I wanted to be a hero to my clients, so I took a “wait and see” approach. It was not long before the “wait and see” kicked me squarely in the ass.

You will not catch me seeking sympathy, but I saw my corporation’s annual accounts receivable drop by over half a million dollars in a single month during 2008. As the CEO, I knew that it would eventually hit my personal economy pretty hard, so I made sacrifices. I cleared out $250,000 worth of cars from my garage, I suspended a six figure per year auto racing budget, I downsized my home by over 3,000 fewer square feet, and I worked harder and for less money than I had in many years. It made sense to cut certain things that I did not require, and it made sense to kick myself back into gear. I made many sacrifices!

Making the Right Sacrifices

I write a lot to help people regain vision for their business and personal lives. In fact, I wrote three books last year and a whole lot of blogs. You surely cannot knock me for dedication. So much of what I write is aimed at helping others to grow their market and regain the market they once enjoyed. I know I make some people very uncomfortable, and I am pleased for that. If you are comfortable with how things are, you have less reason to do something brilliant. On the other hand, if you get sick of being scared, like I did, maybe you will come to make the right choices to build upon your own economy.

Maybe you never read any of my biographies or ever heard of me before, but from the time I dropped out of school at age 15, I have built multiple very successful companies. Something I have learned well is the value of sacrificing unnecessary comforts today in return for a better tomorrow. Sure, you can say that tomorrow never comes and that you should seize the day, but isn’t that the same thing your credit card issuers count on? If you work harder, try harder, create a solid strategy, and do more for your future, you are the one who collects the interest.

The Wrong Sacrifice

I could bang my drum and toot my horn all day and night, and you can still call it all “bullshit”. I can give you good ideas and direction, but you can still call me crazy. A lot of good thinking has been called crazy. Christopher Columbus was “crazy” for saying the world is round, and Albert Einstein said “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

Crazy is relative to your own sense of reality. I was crazy to leave school at 15, but less crazy as I earned millions by 25. Something which cannot be denied and is based on solid math is that effective marketing will grow a business. Effective marketing can get you the job you want. Effective marketing and reaching the right people with the right message is what creates opportunities, from meeting the right spouse to becoming the head of a political party. So how can you possibly abuse and neglect your marketing when it is the one quantifiable thing which can lead you to your goals?

My Murnahanism for Today: “If you want something, it mostly requires asking the right people. You should place quality first, and quantity second, but success usually requires both. If you keep asking the wrong people, refine your efforts. When that fails, you probably need to ask more people.”

If you want a better economy for yourself, do something different. As I have said before, “Do Shit They Will Remember” and note that sometimes you must “Choose Logic Over Emotion“.

If you want more, market more, and market better. Of all the sacrifices I ever made in business, marketing has never been in the list. It has always been the one thing that mattered most. Recession is actually the best time to market your goods, because your competition is running scared, too.

I wrote of sacrifices I made to create millions of dollars in business from my 6th grade education (I left at 15, but I failed a few times first) in my book “Living in the Storm“. This is not my evil plot to shake you down for the huge $2 royalty I make per book, but if you have a hard time understanding the sacrifices it takes to grow a business, you should consider reading it.

Accepting your own recession and doing more to improve it does not mean everything will be amazing again. However, if you are not doing more to market yourself or your business, you are accepting what you have and that will become less as others keep moving forward.

Photo credit to Eric Pouhier via Wikipedia